Everyone has a point in life where they meet the person that everything clicks with. Everything falls into place, each of your pieces fit together to make the perfect puzzle with this special person. Once you meet this person, it's up to you personally to make sure the puzzle isn't broken apart. Now yes, relationships (even friendships) are a two-way street because one person doesn't make a couple or partnership-in-crime. A lot of us manage to make it work and stay together through thick and thin, building a closer bond, making a family, and so on--but some of us aren't that lucky. Sometimes we mess things up by saying or doing the wrong thing, or things just happen in life that distance the two from each other. --Or sometimes you don't know which is which; maybe it was both.
This is one of those things for me. This is my unofficial letter to a dear friend of whom I loved very much, but only realized it when it was too late. This is my letter to 'The One That Got Away'.
"Not a day goes by that I don't think of you; your smile, hair, laugh, strong demeanor, the want to please anyone you care about no matter the cost. Whether it's a song, movie, picture, or memory, at some point in the day I think of you and how you're doing. Even though I wonder and I know where I could find you, I can never muster up the courage or the nerve to go see you because, frankly, I don't know how you'd react. If you'd turn around and walk the other direction or stay in the room and talk is honestly a mystery to me. Even though at one point I considered you my best friend, a partner-in-crime, and the fact that we could look at each other and tell what the other was thinking, I don't think that would be possible anymore. I don't know how much you've changed on the inside--or hell, even the outside.
Your decision blindsided me. I was hurt in more ways than one. I believe the part that hurt the most was that something was so bad, you couldn't talk to or confront me about it. It was never an issue beforehand, so why now? We had screamed at each other countless times, yet always came back because we were able to admit that one of us overreacted. But for this scenario, it wasn't even an option. Because of this, the mystery surrounding this still lingers with one question: 'Was she the one that made you do it?' The new pretty blonde girl that was uncharted territory for you. The girl that would bat her eyelashes at you as though you had never experienced that before. --But you had, you just weren't paying attention.--
It wasn't until after you made the hurtful decision that you did, that I realized that I had feelings for you, besides our close friendship. It wasn't until this that I realized I had fallen in love with you, my best friend. Correction. Former best friend. No, correction again. At this point, practical stranger.
It was the cliche' 'you don't know what you've got until it's gone'. With you, I never thought that I would experience this. For a while, I wondered if it would've been different if I realized sooner; if I told you I loved you sooner. Not like a friend, not like family, but more. The love and all the cutesy crap that we used to make fun of in movies. Eventually, I stopped wondering 'what if?' I started thinking that if we were even meant to have a chance, it'll happen later on when both of us are more mature. The whole, 'if you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then it's meant to be' thing. Only time will tell with that one, so let the waiting game begin. Until then I'll let you do your thing, with whoever that may include, and I'll do mine. Just know, that all these memories of the past will always remain, good and bad. Because until that time, when and/or if we have it, that's all I have to hold onto your memory. No matter how this plays out, you won't be forgotten or unappreciated.
It's no lie nor secret that I still have hope. But as I see it today, you're either a learning experience or a 'to be continued..' Either way, as of right now, you are the one I won't be able to shake; You are 'The One That Got Away'."
Signed, Yours Truly
