A Letter To The Friend I Lost Too Soon
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A Letter To The Friend I Lost Too Soon

Everything happens for a reason, they say. Sometimes I just don't understand what that reason is.

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A Letter To The Friend I Lost Too Soon
Taylor Clawson

To my baby boy,

It's been about three hours now since Mom broke the news. I can't breathe. I haven't stopped crying. I'm shaking. My chest is covered in hives, and it has only been three hours without you. I don't even want to imagine what the rest of life is going to be like without your leaping hellos, your warm furry hugs, and your big droopy bloodshot eyes.

I'll never forget the day we met. Driving up and down winding dirt roads in Indiana, pulling into the big ole farm. Shaking hands with the lady, as she led me to the puppies. I sat down and immediately you and all of your little brothers and sisters attacked me with the most puppy love I've ever received to this day. It was like heaven, but that day was just the beginning of our journey little Champy Dwayne.

Taking you home was the most exciting thing of my life. Holding you on my lap, you were so nervous you were shaking, but little Champy Dwayne, you had nothing to worry about. After we got back to Aunt Jennie's house, I let you venture around the yard, never too far out of my sight, but you definitely enjoyed yourself. It was that day that we got our first picture together...

As our journey continued, you made it home, met the kids, and very soon your puppy fur had taken over the entire house, but don't get me wrong, I loved it. I introduced you to your new toys, and you got so excited! You nipped at me a time or two, but I knew it was all in good fun. Things slowly got worse between Mom and Mike, but while their relationship was dwindling, our friendship was flourishing. Constant walks around Port Austin and down to the break wall (they lasted forever because everyone thought you were the cutest puppy alive and stopped to pet you...which you were.) Oh, and we can't forget the time you thought it would be a good idea to poop right smack dab on the break wall.

Eventually the winter came and by then you were growing a mile a minute. As much as I loved being able to carry you around in my arms, it was nice to have a big ole friend to follow me around as you got older. Our walks continued, but they turned more or less into drags...(you dragging me.) You never were the greatest walker, but softball sliding through the mud and rising within seconds to avoid the next thing you were about to drag me into was slightly amusing to Keish and Alicia anyway.

You continued to grow, and when the Fourth of July rolled around everyone was obsessed with you. You were so proud and got so much love that day. That's something I'm really going to miss... how proud you always were. There's so many things that I'm going to miss about you, Champ. Your random squeaks between barks, being dragged all through town, how happy you got when I took you for a ride and rolled the windows down, how much you loved to be brushed, when you'd get lost in the blankets, watching all of your little balls of baby fur follow you out of your pen when we were gone away, having someone to talk to, your personality, your hugs. There isn't a single thing that I'm not going to miss about you.

As the divorce came to a close, we ended up on Sand Point and you ended up at Mike's house because our house wasn't big enough anymore. The distance sucked, but I made sure not to let it affect our friendship. I continued to see you as often as possible, usually every day, you continued to drag me whenever we "walked," your excitement was unbelievable every time you saw me grab your brush, and your silly personality never faded.

When mom called me hysterically crying I knew something was wrong Champ, but I never in a million years would've imagined she was calling to tell me that our journey had come to an end. Right now it's like nothing matters. I feel lost, and I feel like my chest is empty. I don't want to be at my apartment this weekend, but I don't want to go home without you there. It's like I don't know where I belong right now. I'm okay for a few minutes at a time and then I think about how much happiness you brought to all of our lives, and I just wonder why? Why were you taken so soon? I really hope you're not in pain anymore little Champy. I really hope you weren't in pain when this happened, and I wish more than anything in this world that I would've been there for you. You were always there for me, and here I am in Dearborn when you needed me. I'm so so sorry that I let you down. I love you more than anything little mister.

I guess the only thing I have left to say is thank you.

So thank you Champy Dwayne,

Thank you for allowing me to pick you up that day.

Thank you for trusting me and allowing me to hold you on my lap in order to calm your nerves that day.

Thank you for being something my siblings could look forward to while their family fell apart.

Thank you for keeping us whole.

Thank you for nudging into me when you could sense my sadness.

Thank you for getting lost in the blankets and making me laugh until I cried while you tried to find your way out.

Thank you for being a friend when we all needed one so badly.

Thank you for hopping up on two paws and "dancing" with me.

Thank you for always posing for pictures and selfies.

Thank you for letting us dress you up.

Thank you for being a friend to Tuna.

Thank you for getting protective over all of us.

Thank you for driving around with me and listening to Taylor Swift after my first real heart break.


Thank you for being so playful and happy no matter what.

Thank you for making me laugh everyday.

Thank you for allowing me to bathe you and dry you with the hair dryer despite how much you hated it.

Thank you for being there for Mom when she struggled to find her happiness.

Thank you for being there for Mike when he felt like he lost his family.

Thank you for being there when relationships got hard.

Thank you for being the best cuddle buddy and pillow.

Thank you for giving the best hugs.

Thank you for attempting to roll over even though you got too big and basically just laid on your side flailing with your legs in the air. I always loved the effort.

Thank you for being the best baby boy I ever could've imagined.

Thank you for being my best friend throughout the last few years when I so desperately needed one.

Thank you for our little journey together Champ. It came to a close way sooner than I'd ever have imagined. The loss of you is a loss that's going to hurt all of us for a long time. I love you more than anything in this world Champy Dwayne. I hope there's someone to brush you up there in Doggy Heaven. Fly high little mister.

With all my love,

Taylor

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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