Let Go Of Toxic Friends
Start writing a post
popular

Let Go Of Toxic Friends

It's okay to say goodbye to the people who don't make you happy anymore.

3779
Let Go Of Toxic Friends
rolandoemail

The idea of having that lifelong friendship can be very endearing. Being able to say you've had this friend since birth or for a time that trumps most people's friendships seems like a point of pride. Look at how good I am at relationships. This thought of hanging onto relationships for dear life for the sole purpose of still having them is simply destructive. Even if you promised to be best friends forever. Even if you've known each other since you were twelve. It's okay to let go.

It's hard to say goodbye to a friendship because it's so hard to know where to draw the line between putting it to rest and trying again. Working through things is important, putting in an effort to make it work is necessary. But friendships can be toxic, and it's okay to put down the sword sometimes and walk away. It isn't giving up on someone. It's choosing your happiness.

You don't owe anyone anything. If you get into an argument and need some space and they try to guilt you into immediate forgiveness, this is manipulation. You are allowed to take the time you need. You are allowed to close the book when it no longer brings you joy to read it. You are allowed to do what you need to do. You don't have to stay because they stayed last time, because you've already put in so much work, because everyone is counting on your friendship as a constant in this world.

If other people's opinions on the matter are making you stay, it's time to go. If someone is trying to convince you to stay because their friends have been weighing in, saying they hope everything is okay because they look up to your friendship and if it's gone they don't know what's real anymore, that is not a valid reason to keep pushing. If someone is forcing you to maintain communication with someone you need space from, if your friends and family are continually trying to ask what's going on and say that maybe you should make more of an effort, that means it's time to go. This is not anyone's decision but yours.

I've had a lot of lost friendships in my life. I used to attribute it to being a problem with who I am, that I can't make anyone stay, that everyone in my life eventually goes because I am poison. However, I started to realize, I'm not the poison. I'm just one of the few people that started letting people go once they started being unhealthy.

One because they would constantly put me down by reminding me how much better they were than me.

One because they became embarrassed of me and would only talk to me when no one else was around.

One because they became defensive and found every fault in the new chapter of my life instead of growing with me.

One because they had an opinion about every decision I made for my happiness that they didn't want to try to understand.

One because they mistreated me behind my back and guilted me into taking blame for every problem we encountered and relied on me to fix everything instead of working with me to overcome.

I did not want to lose any of the people. I never wanted them to leave my life and it still makes me sad to look back at the memories and relationships lost. I was accused of giving up each time. Of not trying hard enough, when in reality all I did was try. All I did was sacrifice my health for the sake of a label.

I am giving you permission to let go of the people that hurt you if no one else will let you. I am telling you it's okay to end something that you've been pushing to keep afloat for the sake of doing so.

Choose you.

Some of these people have found their way back to me as we've grown up. Some might never learn. That's okay. Everyone is in your life you help you grow and become the best person you can be. And sometimes the people who help you achieve that the best are the most temporary ones.


Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

53303
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

34256
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

956835
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

181588
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments