Let Go Of Toxic Friends
Start writing a post
Relationships

Let Go Of Toxic Friends

It's okay to say goodbye to the people who don't make you happy anymore.

3760
Let Go Of Toxic Friends
rolandoemail

The idea of having that lifelong friendship can be very endearing. Being able to say you've had this friend since birth or for a time that trumps most people's friendships seems like a point of pride. Look at how good I am at relationships. This thought of hanging onto relationships for dear life for the sole purpose of still having them is simply destructive. Even if you promised to be best friends forever. Even if you've known each other since you were twelve. It's okay to let go.

It's hard to say goodbye to a friendship because it's so hard to know where to draw the line between putting it to rest and trying again. Working through things is important, putting in an effort to make it work is necessary. But friendships can be toxic, and it's okay to put down the sword sometimes and walk away. It isn't giving up on someone. It's choosing your happiness.

You don't owe anyone anything. If you get into an argument and need some space and they try to guilt you into immediate forgiveness, this is manipulation. You are allowed to take the time you need. You are allowed to close the book when it no longer brings you joy to read it. You are allowed to do what you need to do. You don't have to stay because they stayed last time, because you've already put in so much work, because everyone is counting on your friendship as a constant in this world.

If other people's opinions on the matter are making you stay, it's time to go. If someone is trying to convince you to stay because their friends have been weighing in, saying they hope everything is okay because they look up to your friendship and if it's gone they don't know what's real anymore, that is not a valid reason to keep pushing. If someone is forcing you to maintain communication with someone you need space from, if your friends and family are continually trying to ask what's going on and say that maybe you should make more of an effort, that means it's time to go. This is not anyone's decision but yours.

I've had a lot of lost friendships in my life. I used to attribute it to being a problem with who I am, that I can't make anyone stay, that everyone in my life eventually goes because I am poison. However, I started to realize, I'm not the poison. I'm just one of the few people that started letting people go once they started being unhealthy.

One because they would constantly put me down by reminding me how much better they were than me.

One because they became embarrassed of me and would only talk to me when no one else was around.

One because they became defensive and found every fault in the new chapter of my life instead of growing with me.

One because they had an opinion about every decision I made for my happiness that they didn't want to try to understand.

One because they mistreated me behind my back and guilted me into taking blame for every problem we encountered and relied on me to fix everything instead of working with me to overcome.

I did not want to lose any of the people. I never wanted them to leave my life and it still makes me sad to look back at the memories and relationships lost. I was accused of giving up each time. Of not trying hard enough, when in reality all I did was try. All I did was sacrifice my health for the sake of a label.

I am giving you permission to let go of the people that hurt you if no one else will let you. I am telling you it's okay to end something that you've been pushing to keep afloat for the sake of doing so.

Choose you.

Some of these people have found their way back to me as we've grown up. Some might never learn. That's okay. Everyone is in your life you help you grow and become the best person you can be. And sometimes the people who help you achieve that the best are the most temporary ones.


Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Health and Wellness

7 Things Your Partner Can Do To Support You When You Have PCOS

Don't be afraid to ask for help or comfort if you need it.

108

Polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) may not be totally visible to the eye, which makes it a lot harder for your partner to understand what's going on with your body.

If you are in a relationship, it's important that you communicate your PCOS symptoms with your partner. I say "your" symptoms specifically because everyone's symptoms are different.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Watched 'The Social Dilemma' And YIKES, I'm Terrified For The Next Generation's Mental Health

Millennials can remember a time without online social affirmation, but we may be the last ones.

149
The Social Dilemma / Netflix

I've been in a media job for the entirety of my professional career. From part-time social media internships to full-time editorial work, I've continued to learn how to tell stories, write catchy headlines, and keep people interested. I believe working in media is a big responsibility, as well as a valuable way to advance our world.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

One Indictment, Three Charges, And No Justice For Breonna Taylor

We can't settle for this decision or a system that is fundamentally broken and unequal.

2024

On March 13, 26-year-old Breonna Taylor was fatally shot in her apartment by police who were executing a "no-knock" warrant. Since then, there have been rallying efforts both in the streets and on social media demanding justice for Taylor and keeping her name known.

Keep Reading... Show less

Nothing! There is no reason to feel guilty about food and nourishing your body. It's time to make peace with food and stop focusing on the "good" or "bad," "right" or "wrong" because food does not have power over you.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Sat Down With An Endocrinologist To Ask All My Questions About Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome

There are so many moving parts of hormonal health, so I went to an expert.

3776
Anjanette Tan

Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) is an autoimmune disease that impacts approximately 1 in 10 women. Any woman who has PCOS can attest to the fact that no two cases are the same — there are so many aspects of hormonal health that can impact a woman's reproductive health! For many, PCOS is a trial and error condition, with many doctors' appointments depending on the stage of life the woman is in.

This week I sat down with Dr. Anjanette Tan to get the expert opinion on all my PCOS questions. Dr. Tan is a board-certified endocrinologist who's worked in private practices since 2004. She currently works at the Diabetes and Thyroid Center of Fort Worth, one of the largest all-endocrine practices in the area, where she is the managing partner and head of clinical research.

Keep Reading... Show less

- Since I can remember, I've always been a light sleeper, with the quietest sounds waking me up, and I regularly wake up with the sun.

- While talking to a gynecologist friend of mine, she mentioned the importance of using an eye mask for quality sleep, which regulates hormonal levels.

- I was serendipitously sent the Crane & Canopy Silk Sleep Mask almost right after that conversation and was honestly reluctant to try it after testing other sleep masks that felt uncomfortable and irritated my skin.

- This sleep mask was extremely comfortable, and for the first time in nearly a decade, I slept in far past when I usually do on the weekends and woke up feeling more refreshed than I can remember — I've worn it nearly every night since then.

The older I get, it seems that sleep becomes an increasingly important topic of conversation amongst my friends and me. Yes, of course we complain about how tired we always are, but the pattern seemed to be a lack of sleep on the weekdays followed by late nights and sleeping in on the weekends without any solution.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

The Self-Care Kit Every College Student Should Have Handy In 2020

Make sure you have everything you need to relieve some tension.

1289

As college students, sometimes life can be overwhelming. Four tests in a week and you only passed one of them? I feel that. Days like that, you just need time for yourself. A time where you're nice to yourself and put your own self-care before anything else.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

The Smile Project Just Launched An Ambassador Program, And I Can't Wait To Get Started

Looking to shift your perspective, be happier, or just get involved in something truly amazing? Look no further.

964

The Smile Project is a nonprofit organization devoted to spreading happiness, founded by Elizabeth Buechele. It all started on a random day in the fall of her senior year. She was driving home from school when this thought crossed her mind: "Day 1: Happiness is…those perfect car rides where the radio just plays all the right songs."

Keep Reading... Show less

I'll never forget the day that someone told me these words: "Madison, I think you're a good friend to everyone but yourself." I stood there completely in awe of that statement. Before that day, I never really thought about being a friend to myself, and at the time, I didn't really know what it meant. Now, I realize that you can't fully be there for other people unless you're there for yourself, too. You can't show up for others until you're willing to show up for yourself.

Here are five things everyone should learn in order to be a better friend to themselves. These steps are hard, but they're so worth it.

Keep Reading... Show less

It's no secret that social media can be harmful to our mental health. The barrage of heavily edited photos of Instagram models that we see every day only fuels our insecurities. There is a good side to social media, though. It allows us to keep up with friends and family across the globe. Plus, it provides a platform for mental health experts. Listed below are five therapists on Instagram who will fill your feed with motivational quotes and positive infographics.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments