So heres a little back story. My name is Erica, I'm 21 years old and a social work major in college. I started college in 2014, ended up doing my sophomore year online at home in New Jersey.
I came back to campus for my junior year and here I am in my second semester of what's supposed to be my senior year and I should be getting ready to graduate in just a few months, right?
WRONG LOL.
After a few too many times checking my degree audit, definitely too many emails to the school registrar, and a few mental break downs I've accepted that I will in fact NOT be graduating with my class this spring. As I'm writing this right now I'm smiling that smile we have when we are trying not to freak out but inside we are dying. But I'm not writing this to talk about my sad (very sad) story. Instead I'm writing this for a different reason.
This is for sure not where I thought I would be when I started college.
I was dead set on having the perfect college experience, going to every event, and finish in the typical four years. Very quickly into my college career I figured out that would not be the case. I accepted (or so I thought) the fact that my college career would look different then a lot of other people and I was fine with that.......until I realized I would not be graduating with my class. Then all the sudden I had to do something to change that. I tried to find the loopholes that I thought would magically allow me to walk at graduation, all to no avail. Just before returning to campus after winter break I got the final "no" that I was dreading. "How am I going to tell my friends" "I'm such a failure" "just another thing to go wrong", all common thoughts going through my head. I know it wasn't the end of the world, but it sure felt like it.
I spent a good few days not wanting to leave my bed, had a few good crying sessions with my mom, and allowed myself to be bummed. But like my mom always tells me, you can feel bad for yourself for a little while but eventually you have to make a decision. Whether you're going to stay that way or move on and continue what you started. I realized that at this point there is nothing I can do to change my circumstances. So I decided to look at my situation and say "there has to be a reason for this". Sometimes our mistakes turn out to lead us down a path we never would have went down on our own.
I'm saying all this to say that over the past few weeks I've had to try really REALLY hard to accept the stage of life I'm at even if its not where I wanted to be or where I thought I would be. It's easy to love and accept where you are in life when you're happy with it all. It's a whole other story to be content with life when you're frustrated and angry about the cards you've been dealt. But rest assured, we will get there! It may take a little bit longer than previously planned, but thats just part of the ride. Through this whole experience I've learned to maybe not totally love every part of where I'm at, but I've come to be at peace with it all.
I know without any doubt that there is a reason for it all and hopefully once the end is in sight I'll be able to confidently say "ohhhh! That's why!" and I am definitely looking forward to that moment!
