Here's What I Learned About Love In 2018

Here's What I Learned About Love In 2018

Here's to 2019.

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This year taught me a lot about people, love, and relationships. I admittedly spend a great deal of time alone but I am naturally very observant when I'm in someone else's company. This year, though, challenged me to take a look at myself and the relationships I was in. Here's what I've learned thus far.

Relationships are hard work - in all forms, platonic, romantic, familial. Even when they don't feel like it, they are. Even when it feels easy. I have a very bad habit of romanticizing every relationship and situation I'm in; a coping mechanism to keep myself from acknowledging the brutal reality of it all. This year forced me to remove my rose-colored glasses and stare at the realities of love hard in the face. It was harsh, painful, and made me want to retreat back to my cozy, rosy headspace. Instead, I forced myself to learn the lessons I knew I needed to.

Friendship became much harder than I thought it was supposed to be in 2018. At the risk of sounding pretentious, I give a lot of myself for my friends mostly because it is the only way I know. In a much deeper sense, I've realized, it comes from a place of not wanting anyone to feel the way I have. There were people in my life this year that I recognized wasn't really here for me. Instead they were here for my endless and sometimes overbearing support, my energy, and unfortunately, the gossip my life could give them. People took my problems and ran with them, took my venting sessions and amplified them. Took my advice and left me with none. Normally, I wouldn't care because I've often thought that loneliness is worse but this time around I cut people out. No confrontation, no big dramatic exit, just silently and simply keeping to myself. It certainly didn't make ending those relationships any less painful but it saved me from being at the receiving end of any guilt I knew I didn't deserve.

I also ended things I know I didn't need to but the thing about love is that it will return in due time. I'll find the love that comes my way and embrace it every time and even when it ends, I'll know what it was worth. Being in relationships taught me that it's much more difficult and complicated and delicate than the movies and songs make it out to be. There's not always that big sweeping moment of forgiveness and there's not always that heartbreak that wrecks your whole life. Being in relationships is about looking at the other person, yes, but it's also about looking at yourself too.

Self-care is necessary. It can come in the form of face masks and bubble baths or it can come in the form of saving yourself in and from the relationships around you.

I live my life as if love is just around the corner. Maybe this time it is.

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10 Staples To Complete Your New Year's Eve Look

Sparkle and shine with ease to ring in the New Year!
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A new year, a new beginning. New Year's Eve celebrations are always my favorite, but mainly because I love the glitter, sparkles, and the confetti flying. Once you have your plans set to ring in the new year, you have to look good to end 2017 and to begin 2018. I know I'll spend the holiday in some sort of sparkles and sequins. Hopefully, these 10 staples will help save you from your freak-out of what to wear on New Year's Eve like I do every year.

Whether you’re going out for a night in the city or having a house party with your hometown friends, here’s what you need to sparkle and shine this New Year’s Eve.

1. Sequins

A sequined skirt or dress. It may be the basic NYE look, but it's also the look that never fails. Pair it with some heeled booties to complete the head-to-toe look!

2. Glitter

Another must for the holiday. My go-to is glittery eyeshadow, and there's a ton of New Year's Eve makeup tutorials on YouTube if you need some inspo!

3. Bold lipstick

Try an edgy matte black or a fun bright pink. It's NYE, be daring!

4. Over-the-knee/thigh-high boots

I really don't know if the proper name is over-the-knee or thigh-high...but you know what I mean. Probably the biggest item in 2017, and in these boots you'll for sure be ready to party.

5. Tights

It's chilly out this time of year! So go with the original sheer black tights or try a fun dark purple or another color to add some liveliness to your look!

6. Velvet

So soft! I recommend a velvet crop top with some high waisted jeans. It's always a good look for a casual NYE night out.

7. Sheer overlay shirt

Show off that cute bralette you love with a sheer shirt, and add a leather jacket to wear with the delicate so you don't freeze!

8. Furry jacket/vest

Keeps you warm and is also cute. Pair it with sparkles to be extra festive!

9. Pleather leggings

Bring out your inner bad Sandra Olsson in these leggings that will shine from across the room to make your New Year's-look have an edge.

10. Metallics

Because if you can't wear a head to toe metallic dress on New Year's Eve, when can you really wear one??

Happy New Year!

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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This Year, I Will Stop Worrying About Situations That Have Not Happened

Worrying about every negative outcome is a dreadful way of protecting yourself.

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I remember crying in the airport, ridiculously anxious and scared of a horrible situation that had not even happened, for one instance. I typically make myself sick over the fear of a bad outcome in the future, but this toxic way of thinking is no way to live a healthy life.

In short, it is anxiety, but instead of just classifying it as anxiety, I have found that most of the times I am upset or worried is when I am depicting a horrible outcome in my head of what life could spin in to. It is my way of protecting myself, thinking of every upsetting scenario and going through the ways of how I will handle it in my head prior to it happening. It can sound somewhat logical, but my mind got carried away with it.

It didn't end up being a thought-out method with plans of reaction for negative outcomes, I would end up worrying about things so bizarre and so unlikely to happen and it would completely consume me. It robbed me of happiness. Worrying about unreal and unlikely situations sent me into spirals of crying and anxiety, and not for any real or plausible reason. I would spend the whole day staring at the wall, unable to speak to anyone because my worry was so consuming, or finally meet my breaking point and just erupt in tears and have to explain to the people around me that I am basically crying for no reason.

There is too much life to live to live every day by the lingering thought of "What if something bad happens?" I have too many good days ahead of me to be spent worrying, and a handful of bad ones that should not be made worse by worry or fear. Life is good, and it is almost frightening because it has been very good for a while, perhaps this is why my mind wants to prepare for the worst, as the daunting thought of things being "too good" comes into play.

Even when bad days come, and they will, I will handle them. I have noticed that when life is so hard, I get through it, and I look back thinking "Damn. How did I ever get through that?" I take pride in the fact that when bad days, situations, and periods of life do occur, I always, always handle them. But, in the meantime, I would like to savor my good days instead of worrying about not-yet-existent bad days.

So, this is a big step for me, but I am going to try and do this. I know it will bring peace to me, and a lot of people who surround me. This year, I will stop worrying about situations that have not happened.

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