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5 Late Night Comedy Hosts And How Well They Can Probably Grill A Steak

Late night hosting and steak grilling are directly correlated.

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Late night comedy is the perfect escape. It's the perfect way to unwind before bedtime, catch up on the news of the day with a satirical twist, and see what new or exciting comedy segment your favorite host has come up with recently. From Fallon to Colbert, each show offers something different and delivers its own unique perspective, reflected through the content of the show and the host as well. However, whenever I watch late night comedy, one question always seems to pop up in my mind. I always find myself wondering how well each host would be able to grill a steak. You can tell a surprising amount about the way a person grills a steak by the way that person hosts a late night comedy show, so here are five late night hosts, ranked by how well they can probably grill a steak.

1. John Oliver

"Last Week Tonight" with John Oliver is a television masterpiece that offers a blend of late night comedy and informative journalism, achieving wondrous results. It may not be a traditional late night show, but John Oliver's talents create something truly unique and as a result, it seems like this guy really knows how to grill a steak. If you're at a barbecue and John Oliver happens to be there, there is a pretty good chance that he will take over for the grill master and show everybody how it's done, because he just knows how to grill.

2. Stephen Colbert

Colbert's spectacular charisma and naturally funny persona make him a prime late night comedy host, as well as a prime steak griller. Colbert's show is a fair amount more political than your average late night show, but even though it seems to lean rather heavily on political humor, the show is still wildly funny and entertaining, which is how you know that Colbert also knows a thing or two about grilling up some steaks. And honestly, I get the vibe that Colbert can not only grill a steak, but he can handle chicken and burgers as well.

3. Jimmy Fallon

Fallon's goofy, yet hilarious presence, his immense talent, and his willingness to pretty much be friends with everyone have allowed him to secure what is probably the most sought-after position in late night TV, the host of the Tonight Show. His show is a bit more light-hearted than Oliver or Colbert, and as a result Fallon may apply this light-hearted nature to his steak-grilling as well, although it seems hard to tell. He is a phenomenal late night host, and definitely knows how to grill a steak, his technique may just differ a little bit from some of the other hosts.

4. Jimmy Kimmel

As a U of A student, I should probably automatically despise Jimmy Kimmel since he went to ASU. However, his show does have some pretty funny segments. I do wonder, however, about his steak-grilling abilities sometimes. I'm sure that Jimmy Kimmel knows his way around a grill, but grilling just doesn't strike me as a typical activity for him. But hey, I could be wrong.

5. Seth Meyers

Seth Meyers' show doesn't always work for me, and he was probably in a position that was a better fit when he was head writer and host of Weekend Update for "Saturday Night LIve." Still, the show does have its entertaining moments, and Seth is still a relatively new late night host, so he still has time to improve. For some reason, Seth strikes me as the master of grilling steaks, like he is unbelievably good at it and watching him grill is like watching a true master at work.

Okay, so I've never actually asked any of these late night hosts about their steak-grilling abilities, nor have I ever seen any of them grill a steak. But, I have watched their shows, which has really given me all the insight I need into these five late night comedy hosts, and the way they grill their steaks.

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10 Ways To Be The Girl Every Guy Wants

A comprehensive do-it-yourself guide to being the girl every guy wants.
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aussymac
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1. Smile all the time.

Guys want to be with girls who are always happy. Men get severely uncomfortable when all the women around them are not Cheshire cat level elated all the fucking time. Why are you mad? Why do you look so pissed? Are you defective? Autopilot your brain to borderline creepy giddiness before men get the idea that you might actually be capable of a full range of human emotion.

2. Be smart.

Men want women to be smart, but never smarter than them. Don’t know or say anything too much about anything specifically – except sports.

3. Eat like a man, look like a lady.

How many burgers can you fit in your mouth at once? Better, even, how many hotdogs? Have the appetite of a grizzly bear, but eat like a cute tiny rabbit, or Kate Upton faking an orgasm. Oh, and never, ever get above a size 4.

4. Play video games.

No guy can resist a girl who loves to play video games (in her underwear). Fifa, 2K, Smash, Kart – know them all. If you can’t at least beat his worst friend at his favorite game, you’re not a keeper.

5. Love beer.

If you can’t throw ‘em back like one of the guys, you’re not wifey. Yeah, that Norwegian IPA no one's ever fucking heard of? You got it. Bud Light? Sure. Fat Tire? You love that shit. Feel free to let out that beer burp while you’re at it, but the burp you’d imagine a Japanese dwarf squirrel would let out after eating rainbows. Oh, and don’t forget, size 4.

6. Be a freak, but also a nun.

We all know that lyric (thank you, Ludacris, so much). Hit those yoga poses hard because he wants you to bust that shit out like you’ve done it before. But you haven’t … right? Have you?!

7. Keep him on his toes.

No man wants a woman who is predictable and boring. Challenge him. Keep him intrigued. Drop an F bomb every now and then. Learn a foreign language in your spare time so that you might give the illusion of being exotic in bed (Slavic languages sound super sexy). Induce yourself into an epileptic seizure. Whatever it takes to keep it interesting.

8. Have quirks.

Ah, quirks. The things that make people unique. The things that make people, people. You must have at least three of these but no more than five. Think relatable Stepford Wife.

9. Be hot.

This is potentially the most important, and luckily I don’t need to tell you how this works. Look at anything. Anywhere. That ever existed.

10. Never, ever get mad.

The worst thing you can do as a woman is challenge a man’s authority. Don’t talk back. Don’t think. Don’t have expectations. Sit. Roll over. Hold the bark.

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And finally, in the spirit of strong conclusions and remarkably appropriate GIFs:

Cover Image Credit: Tumblr
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15 Thing Only Early 2000's Kids Will Understand

"Get connected for free, with education connection"

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This is it early 2000's babies, a compilation finally made for you. This list is loaded with things that will make you swoon with nostalgia.

1. Not being accepted by the late 90's kids.

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Contrary to what one may think, late 90's and early 00's kids had the same childhood, but whenever a 00's kid says they remember something on an "only 90's kids will understand" post they are ridiculed.

2. Fortune tellers.

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Every day in elementary school you would whip one of these bad boys out of your desk, and proceed to tell all of your classmates what lifestyle they were going to live and who they were going to marry.

3.Bunnicula

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You could never read this book past 8 o'clock at night out of fear that your beloved pet rabbit would come after you.

4. Silly bands.

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You vividly remember begging your parents to buy you $10 worth of cheap rubber bands that vaguely resembles the shape of an everyday object.

5. Parachutes.

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The joy and excitement that washed over you whenever you saw the gym teacher pull out the huge rainbow parachute. The adrenaline that pumped through your veins whenever your gym teacher tells you the pull the chute under you and sit to make a huge "fort".

6. Putty Erasers

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You always bought one whenever there was a school store.

7. iPod shuffle.

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The smallest, least technological iPpd apple has made, made you the coolest kid at the bus stop.

8. "Education Connection"

You knew EVERY wood to the "Education Connection" commercials. Every. Single.Word.

9. " The Naked Brothers Band"

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The "Naked Brothers Band" had a short run on Nickelodeon and wrote some absolute bangers including, "Crazy Car' and "I Don't Wanna Go To School"

10. Dance Dance Revolution

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This one video game caused so many sibling, friend, and parent rivalries. This is also where you learned all of your super sick dance moves.

11. Tamagotchi

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Going to school with fear of your Tamagotchi dying while you were away was your biggest worry.

12. Gym Scooters

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You, or somebody you know most likely broke or jammed their finger on one of these bad boys, but it was worth it.

13. Scholastic book fairs

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Begging your parents for money to buy a new book, and then actually spending it on pens, pencils, erasers, and posters.

14.Go-Gurt

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Who knew that putting yogurt in a plastic tube made it taste so much better?

15. Slap Bracelets

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Your school probably banned these for being "too dangerous".

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