Have you ever woken up and felt as if the weight of the world has been thrust upon you, leaving you unable to drag yourself out of bed? Have you ever felt so physically and mentally fatigued thinking about all of the times that you have messed up? Or about that time that you said the wrong thing? Or the time that you felt unproductive and useless, like you’ve accomplished nothing? Have you ever stayed up night after night thinking of all of these “failures?" These “mistakes?” But, are they really mistakes? Are they really failures and drawbacks?

This is not an article to tell you about how you are young; and therefore nothing you do is a mistake. I refuse to say that because that is a lie. Using your age to justify something that you maybe didn’t do right is an excuse. This is an article for everyone. This is about looking back at everything that we have experienced as people. We have all made mistakes. Many of us have dealt with the punishments that come from other people’s mistakes. And it is true that many of us have suffered loss and heartache, whether it be losing a friend because of a pointless fight, losing a loved one to illness, losing a job, this is what this article is about: looking at the hard times in life, but why look at the hard times?

When we hit that rough patch in life, we have limited choices. One choice is rolling over and accepting it, simply letting it happen, not doing anything about. Another choice is to let these events and feelings overcome us with grief, filling us with despair and (sometimes) self-loathing. We could take out our anger and frustrations on others, whether they are apart of the pain or not.
Similar to the first option, we can learn to accept the dispiriting part of life, but unlike this option, we could choose to stand up and fight, fight for what we want, fight for what we dream about.

This may seem hard, I know. I have faced this so many times, and in all honesty, I have been through every option. I’ve simply accepted my fate, telling myself nothing will get better, so I should just get over it. I have found myself loathing life, not being able to get out of bed, making myself so physically sick that I couldn’t eat for days, feeling sleep deprived, and cloaked in a black cloud. I have also lashed out at people, projecting my own anger at others, who deserved none of it. None of these ways of thinking made me feel better, in fact, I dug myself deeper in a grave of darkness and despair. With these decisions, I was losing more and more of myself.

Back in January of 2015, I made a decision to stand up and fight back. I went to a friend and asked him to ink my skin with a life-altering tattoo. To this day, it is my saving grace.

I interpret my tattoo as saying, “Always love. Always have faith. Always fight on.” This tattoo was something that I found to be beautiful because it expressed what life should be about. Before getting the tattoo, I only ever focused on the downside to everything, the times where I just wanted to lock myself inside my brain to be left alone. This tattoo… this tattoo is a reminder of what I should be focusing on in life. When life gets toxic and I feel myself falling into a negative spiral, I look at my tattoo.

The hearts show that there is love in a world full of hate. You just have to look a little closer. The crosses remind to me to have faith, not only in God, but in the people who have stayed by my side and have been loyal to me through hardship. The semicolon represents my constant struggle with anxiety and depression. Whenever I feel lonely or melancholy, I trace the semicolon with my finger as a reminder that I am a fighter. I am a warrior. These three elements create the shape of a butterfly, symbolizing beauty in the midst of a rather dim world. It all wraps itself up as an infinity sign, representing that love, faith, strength, and beauty are always present, even when life feels like it’s falling down on you.

The moral of the story is not that you need to go out and get a tattoo like this to be happy, but to look at this world, look at your mistakes, look at the hardships that you’ve been through and make a decision. Are you going to let life beat you down? Or are you going to stand up and fight?

There will be tears along the way. There will be times that you want to punch your hand through a brick wall. There will be times that you don’t feel good about yourself, and that’s OK! Nobody’s perfect. Not one single person is always happy. Not one. Life is going to suck, and we are all going to make mistakes. Nothing will change that, but we need to remember that in the end, everything will be OK. We are able to learn and grow from our mistakes. We can stand up and tell the world that it can’t beat us down. We can admit to not being perfect and still hold our heads up, tall and proud.

If you are ever having a bad day and need a reminder of your strength and self-worth, here is a playlist of songs that I recommend to help you get through your day:

"Who You Are" by Jessie J (Anna Clendening Cover)

"Just Be Held" by Casting Crowns

"Nobody's Perfect" by Hannah Montana

"Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera

"Fight Song" by Rachel Platten

"Stronger" by Kelly Clarkson

"Keep Holding On" by Avril Lavigne

"Titanium" by David Guetta ft. Sia

"Let It Be" by The Beatles

"Move Along" by The All-American Rejects

"It's My Life" by Bon Jovi

"Who Says" by Selena Gomez

"Perfect" by P!nk

At the end of the day just remember: “It’s OK not to be OK!”