Is it real? I don’t know. I would like to think so. I once convinced myself I had found it. It was bestowed away in a deep dark hole that was filled with sleepless nights, endless fights, and questions that were just too hard to answer at 16 years old. I climbed out of that hole and hopped onto a freight train. The most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on. So pretty she was dangerous. So I quickly got off that train and jumped off the highest cliff a man could find. Diving head first into 6 foot tall girl with long, dirty blonde hair. She had laser blue eyes that could cut you into a thousand pieces sided with an attitude that could shatter those pieces into millions. Was she a hand full? Yes. Was she worth it? I don’t know. Was any of it worth it?
We as human beings value feelings and affection more than anything in this world. People go to extraordinary lengths to feel loved or to find love. We fight and die for that feeling. Man and woman both go to war with each other to find the same utopia. I have come to believe love is the most prized possession on this planet. The funny thing is it happens to be the most expensive item in the world yet no one knows the price.
Love is something you can’t buy, you can’t download, and you can’t swipe left or right for. It’s an uncomfortable feeling that we just happen to stumble upon. You can’t categorize it or label it. It usually shows up unannounced like that neighbor that keeps showing up to all the family parties with the same ugly sweater. Love comes in all different shapes, sizes, and colors. Many of us have our preset image of our significant other. But for the vast majority, the one we actually fall in love with will not even be remotely close to our prince charming or our Juliet. See that’s the thing no one knows, no one has any idea until it happens.
We all get blind sided not knowing if what we are feeling is real. Asking ourselves if other people have the same thing happen to them. Every guy wonders to themselves late at night if it’s normal for your heart to play hopscotch in your chest while you are holding hands with your girlfriend. The answer is yes because it’s love. With love there are no rules or regulations.
Love is like riding a bike for the first time. It’s daring and scary. It may hurt, you even may fall. It takes work, there has to be balance from one side to the other. Making sure that your feet stay under you and you chose the right path to go down. Not being afraid to get hurt because the reward is much greater than the risk. Once that balance is reached, the wobbles are gone, and you are steered straight there is nothing that will stop you. There will be ups and downs, bridges will have to be crossed and jumps will have to be made. You even may fall once in awhile but those scars will tell the stories on how you two fell in love.
I have scars, we all do. Those scars are proof to us that it was worth it. No matter if it was good or bad, ugly or beautiful. It was something to learn from. Every interaction and relationship we choose to get ourselves into is worth it. They leave us with scars that we use to build our shields to protect us from the ones that come next. No matter how big our shield gets, no matter how many times we fall off that bike there will always be that one person. That person that picks us back up, that person that teaches us that falling isn’t a bad thing, that going to this war called love without a shield is the only way to win.
Will I find that person? Who knows, but I have figured out that it’s real. Love does exist; I have seen it in the 3 year old kids all the way to my 90 year old grandparents who still get butterflies in their stomachs every time they look at each other. No matter young or old, gay or straight, black or white, love is all around us. It’s hard to ignore. I don’t know much about love, I really don’t. I'm quite new to it and I don’t really know how to write about, it that’s for sure. But I have figured out that everyone should hop on that train or make that jump because it is worth it no matter the outcome. Love is an experience, one that every human being should be apart of. It’s everywhere, sometimes we just have to step back and take a look around.
