I think people take pride in independence. In the idea that they, and they alone, can complete an assignment, overcome an obstacle, or achieve a goal. It is an easy concept to be drawn to because there's almost an added bonus in the achievement of something without any extra help along the way. This concept of strength in independence has bled through cultures in such ways as even contributing negatively.

For example, the stigma behind mental illness is often driven, especially for men, by the concept that seeking help for "emotional issues" is weak; that going to a therapist is frowned upon. In an article discussing the connection between men and the stigma of mental illness, Dr. Narveen Dosanjh, a psychiatrist in New York City writes "We have to accept that we live in a culture where men often feel pressure to conform to an unrealistic macho image. The measure of their masculinity seems to have an inverse relationship to the expression of their vulnerability, and it is literally making them sick. Real men are not supposed to be weak, break down, or cry. They are supposed to be invincible, unbreakable super-heroes. Except, they are not. They are only human."

In this situation, the construct of the masculine image in society prevents individuals from breaking away from their independence and leaning on help. Thus, fervently gripping independence risks the loss of individuality itself, because men stray so far away from what they actually feel to construct an image of themselves which is deemed more acceptable to society, regardless of the personal risk. However, this in and of itself is disregarding one of the purposes of independence. Being independent is defined as, "not influenced or controlled by others in matters of opinion, conduct, etc; thinking and acting for oneself." Within this definition lies the freedom of individuals to use their independence to aid themselves. It is the freedom of an individual to allow the opinions of others to help make a decision, help fix an issue. It is not the direct influence or control, but the control of a gateway toward help from others.

It is in these situations which I believe mentors are especially helpful. Mentors can offer not only advice and guidance, but they can offer us our own independence back. I believe the mentors that are involved in our lives for a long amount of time, are able to see our growth into independence; our growth through difficult tasks, and what we learn from them.

Reaching out to these mentors, then, in times of tribulation, of adversity, is not necessarily relinquishing all thought and reflection to another person. Rather, it is allowing someone else to remind us of what we believe; of who we are. Mentors have the capability to do this because they have walked with us to the discovery of that self.

I believe that each person should have someone to which they can direct certain specific issues, especially if these issues are in more rare areas. With this, mentors can help bridge the gap between independence and "seeking help." The importance of mentors, and the magic of them is that they do not stray an individual away from their own opinions, their own conduct, but they guide us toward a default more closely aligned with what we believe and what we desire, even if at times it may become foggy.