It's February. I am currently in my last semester of college. Honestly as of last week, I was like completely excited and counting down how many days I have left in college. And I still am excited. I have worked hard the last four years and feel ready to go. But at the same time, college has been my life since I was 17. I started college at 17. Even though I commute to school and live at home, I am very involved on campus and hold a campus job as well. This has been my whole world for four years now. I can't believe this won't be my life anymore in a few short months. That's why I'm struggling. I am ready to graduate and begin my real life. But I'm also sad to say goodbye to the one I have spent four years cultivating. It's a bittersweet moment for me. I didn't think it would hit me till April but it's already hitting me now. I'm so ready to graduate because I've done what is necessary to graduate. But I am going to miss my favorite professors and all the memories I've made these last four years. I never realized that saying goodbye to college will feel like this. I plan on enjoying my next three months of college. It's sad but also exciting because I deserve to graduate and move on. It's the natural progression. When I left high school, I didn't feel anything too profound. Maybe because I didn't have anything left to feel. But college has really been a dream come true for me. I always say that the bliss and joy and freedom kids my age experienced in the last year of high school I experienced in college. Part of me is so ready to be done and to move on and have a fresh start once more. But part of me is really struggling to realize that this is it. The sun is setting on my journey here at St. Thomas Aquinas College. I'm sure other seniors are feeling how I feel; I think it must be a normal senior year emotion. I don't feel incomplete because I've done everything that one student could've done. I've had all these incredible experiences and I know it's time for me to be on my way out. But at the same time it's sad because it is the end of my greatest journey and experience in life at this point. I know graduation isn't that close but it isn't that far either. To everyone reading this, I hope you can relate to how I'm feeling. I've never been as happy in my life as the last four years have made me. A fear is that maybe the future won't be as excellent and memorable as my journey in college has been. When I was leaving high school, I knew college was next. I didn't know it would be the best four years of my life but I knew I had something to look forward to. But even now I probably should feel the same way. I have whole my life ahead of me so many dreams to still accomplish. I'm ready to begin the next phase of my life it'll just be sad to say bye to this part of my life. I'm ready to go but sad to leave this part of my life behind. I am excited to move on. But I am realizing that it's okay for me to feel happy about graduating but also feel sad about leaving my old life behind. I'm only 21 and I have whole lot to look forward to.
These are two of my favorite quotes at the moment that channel how I think now:
"But even the sun sets in paradise"- Maroon 5, "Payphone"
"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard" - A.A. Miln
