Dear future daughter,
We don't know each other yet, but you are already special to me. To be honest, at this point in my life, I don't even know if I want children. However, I do know that if I decide I want children, I want to be the best parent I can. Isn't that what every parent wants?
I realize there is no guidebook to raising children and everyone has their own idea of correct parenting. I am not here to argue what is right or wrong. I am here to tell you what I want to do for you as a parent, and this is only addressed to you. However, I hope other ladies will read this and realize part of being a mother to a daughter is sticking together and supporting one another as women.
First, I will always listen to you. What you have to say is important, and it doesn't matter if I always agree with you or not. The important thing is honestly listening to you and making sure your voice is heard. I don't care how old you are. I will encourage your opinion. Of course, as the person who only wants the best for you, I will still make some decisions for you, at least until you are old enough to understand why I do the things I do.
I will make sure you feel valued. Sometimes children feel like they have no power with their parents, and they are somewhat right. As the adult we are entrusted to lay down the law when needed. Setting boundaries for you is necessary, but I do not want you to feel utterly powerless with me. Voice your opinion. Ask me questions, and I will give you answers. You have a right to know why certain rules are in place. You will not be discounted just because you are younger. I am your mother, not your friend, but I do not want you to be afraid of me. Fear breeds resentment.
I will guide but not dictate your actions. You are a different person than me, so you might make different choices than I would make, and that's okay as long as it isn't something that gets you in trouble. I have a general idea of what I want for you, like doing well in school so you can get into a good college, but I would also support you if you decided to join the military or want to travel abroad to find yourself before making any career choices.
I want you to be comfortable talking to me, and I mean really talking to me. That means coming to me about getting on birth control if you become sexually active, confessing to me your symptoms of depression so we can find the correct course of treatment for you, coming out to me without fear of judgment. Again, I have an idea of what I want you and your life to look like, however, I am not an idealist. I am a realist.
Most importantly, I want you to feel safe. I want you to feel like you have a support system in me. Let's face it, I am your biggest supporter. I will stop at nothing to protect you because hurting you is also hurting me. I hope you can live in a world where a woman does not have to worry about being sexually assaulted, abused or sold into human trafficking. I hope you can walk the streets at night without fear. I hope you can make choices with confidence. I hope there is no wage gap, that you are presented with infinite opportunity. I hope you feel empowered. I hope you will feel important.
I hope that this is the kind of world you are born into. If the world cannot be that way for you, though, then I hope I can be that way for you.
We don't know each other yet, but you are already special to me, daughter.
Your future mother