I Grew Up Thinking My Self Worth Came From The Things I Had
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I Grew Up Thinking My Self Worth Came From The Things I Had

I was stupid for that.

I Grew Up Thinking My Self Worth Came From The Things I Had
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Where I'm from, girls spend $400 on a homecoming dress that they will wear once.

Where I'm from, my school parking lot is filled with Mercedes, Range Rovers, and BMWs.

Where I'm from, I walk through the halls, not knowing if the kid next to me lives in a mansion or is homeless.

I fall in the middle of all that.

I've grown up in the Naperville atmosphere all my life, a place where money is usually not a problem and people can buy luxurious items without thinking twice. But I live right outside all of that in Aurora, where I can walk down the street and see a whole different world, full of violence and people that would never be able to afford anything along the lines of luxury.

As early as two years ago, I thought that I could have it all. I had the mindset of materialism and thought that I nice things would make me happy.

I learned the hard way that I was wrong.

I used to feel isolated from my school and the two different places I can say I grew up in. To fill that space, I used all my paychecks at the mall buying shoes, bags, and clothes.

It didn't seem like a problem at first. But, one day I walked into my room. All I saw were bags of untouched items and a stack of receipts. I realized that I had all these nice things, but I still couldn't help but be upset. Embarrassment and disappointment took over me.

What I felt that day confused me. How do I still feel isolated with these nice things? It took me a lot of money to realize this, but I realized that no matter how many luxuries I have, it is absurd to think inanimate objects could fill sadness.

I thought that if I was like the other girls from here, I would be happier. What I realized was that there are so many people in the world without luxury items lots of things, and they are actually a lot happier.

That is always going to be the situation. Later on I gained new friends and experiences. Those things were free, and gave me unmeasurable amounts of happiness.

Later reflection showed me this: in a modern society of materialism, the objective of happiness is blurred. Anyone can find a way to buy object and things, but sooner or later they will be thrown away or lost. The things that will always matter most will be the memories you gain along the journey of learning who you are.

Now, I find myself never going to the mall. Instead, I use my paychecks to go out and experience new things. I might not have tangible evidence of the things I did, but they are definitely better for me in the long run.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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