So we've been completely independent for the first time in eighteen years for maybe two months now, and it's time the rents come and visit to check in on us. Well, lets be honest, the floor of your room is no longer visible and you ran out of tissues weeks ago, but don't panic! I can help you trick your parents that you're doing perfectly okay all alone.
1. Lysol everything.
Wipe it down, spray it up, and open a window. Let the air circulate so your parents don't see just how much filth you've been living in for the past few weeks of your life.
2. Do the laundry.
I know, I know, boys, you started wearing long pants and long shirts because you ran out of shorts and short sleeves, but now would be the time to wash everything and make it seem like you know how the washing machine works.
3. Onto the dishes.
Yeah, those plates and forks you left lying around, its time to throw those all out because chances are, all of the gunk is now permanently stuck to them and Amazon Prime can always replace them. Plus I know its mainly red solo cups and those are super cheap at Costco.
4. Now, take those things you call "textbooks" out from under your bed and put them on your desk.
There, now you look studious. If you're really feeling up for it, you can sprinkle some pencils in too.
5. This next step might be hard for those of us who throw things everywhere, but we are now going to take out the trash.
You are going to pick up all the wrappers and scraps of paper you have collected throughout these few weeks and take them to the garbage outside.
6. Okay, so now that your parents have arrived, you'll call them on the phone, and get into an argument because they can't find your parking.
Then once that's resolved you can argue about them not following your directions or being able to find your dorm so you have to go outside in your pajamas to find them. Then you run into the cute person in your math lecture outside, but its all to find your parents, which you finally did, so #Success? I guess?
7. Let your parents take you out to eat somewhere besides the caf, and replace your tissues and solo cups.
I hope this was relatable, super insightful, and if not, at least funny. Completed by yours truly.