future freak out

How to Not Freak Out About the Future

The future is daunting, but here are a couple ways to succeed at it.

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It is never too early to think about your future. It may get scary and it may be a pain to think about, but the future is coming at us at lightning speed, and there is nothing you can do about it.

Of course, that is not to say to only think about the future. In fact, only ever looking forward can be just as bad as looking back. It is imperative to strike a balance between present and future so you can not only looking forward to the latter but also be prepared. Speaking of which, here are a couple simple ways to not lose sleep over your future.

1) It will be okay.

This saying is trite but only because it's true. Things may be rough now, but it will be okay. Sometimes, you have to get in the habit of telling yourself that the future will be okay because otherwise, you can trick yourself into believing that it's not.

2) Focus.

Focus on your homework when you're doing your homework; focus on your studying when you're studying; focus on having fun when you're with friends; focus, focus, focus. Society has become so multitasked that to not do so yourself is like not being a "good person." News flash: multitasking is not all that great.

3) Get rid of toxicity.

Turn the television off, hide your phone (shocking, yes, but do it at least once), drop toxic friends...there are so many toxic things in your life that you may not even know of, but just know that your gut is always right.

4) Self-love.

Love yourself! This demand is easier said than done, yes, but that's because society makes it so hard to do so. Love yourself and compliment yourself from time to time. Better yet, smile at yourself in the mirror before you leave for classes or work. All these actions may sound trivial, but it will make you confident...

5) Laugh.

Laughing looks just as good as it feels. So laugh. Laugh at yourself, laugh with others, laugh, and get into the zone of allowing yourself to be happy. Even if you force yourself to laugh, laughing is infectious and sooner or later, you will laugh for real.

6) Make mistakes.

Seriously, make them. Better yet, laugh them off and learn from them. Mistakes allow you to understand another part of yourself that you hadn't known before. Everyone makes mistakes, so don't you dare feel regretful or embarrassed when you do.

7) Set goals.

Don't set super high ones because you will always end up disappointed. Rather, set small goals: if you're someone who always skips breakfast, perhaps set a goal to eat breakfast for the next week. Later on, you can set higher goals, ones that make you excited for both the present and the future.

8) Have faith.

In this situation, faith does not necessarily mean religion (however, it can). Instead, have faith in yourself: have faith that you can overcome any kind of obstacle, have faith that you will work your hardest, have faith that you will learn from your mistakes, and most importantly: have faith that you are worthy.

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Let's Get Back To A 'No Scrubs' Mindset

In a dating culture so poor, let's get back our worth.

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Dating culture has come a long way in the last fifty years, and I don't mean that in a good way. We have gone from men walking up to the doors and meeting our parents at the start of a date to guys honking the horn our front and expecting us to come outside.

We have come from long relationships that have milestones and are special, to one-night stands and not even remembering your partner's name the next day.

We have gone from guys bringing flowers just because to guys bringing flowers just because they messed up.

We've gone from the man leading and the woman following, playing her part as care-taker to women being strictly independent, not needing any man to tell her what to do.

This needs to change.

Now, before people get offended and start yelling at me about "feminism" and women's rights and how they can take care of themselves, that's not what I mean. Of course women can be independent and more power to you for being so secure in yourself, ladies. Here's all I'm saying: just because a man buys you flowers, or wants to lead in the relationship, that does not mean he is looking down on you. That's just what a man is supposed to do!

Now, I'm going to be honest that I'm a bit confused. Women don't want men to look down at them and are so much in this 'I don't need no man' mindset, yet I see so many women settling! They're having meaningless one-night stands, staying in abusive relationships, staying with a guy who just treats you horribly (though, not abusively). So if you're viewing yourself more highly, how can you look at the relationship you're in and not see how that's dragging you down?

You don't want men to look down at you, but, honey, I kinda am (no judgment). When I see someone in a bad relationship where I can clearly see an out, my heart breaks for them, yearning for them to break free.

As the beautiful and powerful women that we are, we need to step back into a "No Scrubs" mindset, instead of wherever we are now. We need to let TLC talk to us and really take their advice.

"No, I don't want your number /
No, I don't wanna give you mine /
No, I don't want no scrub /
A scrub is a guy who can't get no love from me /
Hangin' out the passenger side /
Of his best friend's ride /
Tryna holla at me"

This is great advice of the treatment that we should NOT take. If a weird guy just comes and asks for your number, don't give it to him! Don't take his number! If a guy is catcallin' you, or wolf whistles at you out of the car window, pay no attention, sister! You are better than that.

They continue on to tell us:

"If you don't have a car and you're walking /
Oh yes son, I'm talking to you /
If you live at home with your momma /
Oh yes son, I'm talking to you /
If you have a shorty that you don't show love /
Oh yes son, I'm talking to you."

Again, good advice! A few kinds of guys you should avoid: guys without cars who are slumping off of other people, guys who still live with their parents, guys who are IN A RELATIONSHIP that don't respect their partner by flirting with you!!!

Avoid them.

You deserve better, sis.

Please don't just give out because some guy hits on you and you're bored. Know that you are worth so much more than that. You deserve a guy who is going to cherish you, pursue you, be loyal to you, respect you and take care of you. A man who will lead you. Don't settle for just a scrub.

Wait for a real man.

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You Know You're From Trumbull, CT When...

The best memories are made in this boring, little, Connecticut town.

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1. The majority of places you will consider to eat at are in Fairfield or Westport... Colony, Shake Shack, Country Cow, Playa Bowls, BarTaco

2. But if you find yourself too lazy to get on 95 for food, Panchero's is the go-to... never Chipotle. If it is past midnight, the choice always comes down to the McDonalds in Monroe, where you are almost guaranteed to see a group of people you know, or Merritt Canteen.

3. Once you got your license, your Friday night plans consisted of picking up friends, driving up and down Main Street, and, somehow, always finding yourself at the THS parking lot seeing who's car is there because there is nothing better to do.

4. In the Fall, you couldn't wait for Friday so that after school you and half of your grade could walk to Plasko's Farm for ice cream and apple cider donuts... and hope you could get them before the owners would yell at you to leave. (This one only applies to Hillcrest Middle School kids, AKA the inferior middle school in town).

5. You couldn't wait to be a senior so you could officially lead the BLACK HOLE at football games... if you were even willing to go in the cold.

6. You looked forward to the annual Senior Scav, the last week of summer before your senior year where a list of tasks is passed down by the recently graduated class... the official kickoff to senior year.

7. You pass by Country Club Rd. and get flashbacks from the worst Cross Country practices ever. Driving up Daniels Farm Rd. in the Fall and Spring, you are conditioned to yell "hi" out the window to your friends at practice.

8. You knew someone who worked at Gene's gas station... and found yourself spending more time there on the weekends than you would like to admit.

9. You are convinced Melon-heads are real after frequenting Velvet St. to see the abandoned insane asylum with your friends, IF you didn't want to drive all the way up to Fairfield Hills in Newtown.

10. You have had/have been to at least one middle school birthday party at the Trumbull Marriott.

11. You know that the 25mph speed limit on Whitney Ave. is way too slow... and can't help but hit a little air going down the huge hill at the top.

12. The guy at Towne likely knows your name.

13. You never find yourself turning right out of THS... that side of town is irrelevant for those who do not live there.

14. You know to avoid the Merrit Parkway from 4:00-7:00pm at all costs.

15. You know more than you would like to about people you aren't even friends with... in a town so small, things get around very quick.

16. Going shopping really means going to Target, or any store in the mall, for the millionth time that week.

17. The marching band was the best in the state and you would see them practicing, literally, every time you drove by THS.

19. Depending on the side of town you lived, you spent a lot of time at Five Pennies Park or Indian Ledge Park.

20. You would say you couldn't wait to leave, but when you got to college, you find yourself excited to come back to your hometown so you can reminisce on old traditions and make new memories.

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