Valentine's day is coming up, and you want a man. Lucky you! This is the right place! Countless hours of research have been compiled from various sourced to make this exhaustive list on how to get someone to like you, be your boyfriend, or father your children. Beware that this plan if full proof, and whoever you try these on will immediately fall for you because that's how love works: you manipulate someone into liking you. Happy reading!

1. The Adorable Thief

Steal his hat and put it on or run away laughing. He'll LOVE that it's adorable and bold, not obnoxious. There is nothing more attractive than thievery.

2. The Time Stops

You know in the movies when the guy sees the girl laughing and the acoustic guitar picks up and time slows and her hair gently blows in the wind and her beautiful teeth show and her laugh sounds like an echo for some odd reason? Do that. Since you don't have movie editors, you'll have to do it in slow motion yourself.

3. The Invite

Invite him over and say there's a party going on. Ten minutes after he arrives, tell him that everyone canceled. This will be a prime time to to start that romantic date.

4. The Stare

Is there something in my eye? Stare at him with your face near his. Make your eyes as wide as possible so he can see those windows to your soul.

5. The "No really, he's from Canada."

Make that special guy jealous by mentioning your high school boyfriend who lives in Canada and slip in that you're not sure how long distance is going. The fact that you're taken but almost available will be impossible to refuse!


6. The Adorable Klutz

When you see him, trip and drop everything so he will come over and help. Brush your hand against his as you keep looking down because you're so "embarrassed." This trick also works if you trip him and then come over to help.


7. The "I can't believe she said that!"

Ask him if he's balding, when he asks why, say "I don't know" and walk away. The rest of the day he'll wonder if he really is balding and why you would say that. Congratulations! You got him to think about you!


8. The Ab Check

Pat him on his tummy to see if he has abs. That won't necessarily get him to like you, but wasn't that fun?

9. The Researcher

Look up tips on how to get a guy to like you. Then deceive him into thinking that love is a two-way street and a relationship.


10. The Dreamer

Unlike the much too inconvenient tactic of simply asking him out, this one is more elegant. Sit and pine and just wish and hope that he will magically have the same feelings for you even though you've only spoken once. Then wait for him to ask you out. This isn't the 21st century where women ask men out like animals.


11. The Savior

This one requires a friend's help. Orchestrate a kidnapping where he is held hostage. At the last minute, swoop to the rescue and save him. Not only will he look at you with a heightened perspective, but he is now obligated to go on a date with you because you rescued him. Because that's just common courtesy. Forget altruism.


12. The Sad Beauty

Make up a sad backstory for yourself and somehow slip it into conversation so he will feel sorry for you -- maybe even throw in a disorder of some sort! That wouldn't be insensitive and highly unethical at all!


13. The Mystery Girl

NEVER be straightforward or tell him how you actually think or feel. If something is wrong, tell him it's okay and expect him to figure it out and take care of you anyway. Don't tell him that you like him either. Men are really smart and can read minds so they will figure it out.


14. The Charmer

Laugh at EVERYTHING he says really loudly, it's cute and not the ungodly sound to ever escape someone's vocal chords. Throw in a high-pitched "OH MY GOOOSH" or "I CAN'T EVEN" to seal the deal.