As a freshman, I found myself doing little outside of schoolwork and sleeping for the majority of my first semester. I never had any interest in getting involved in organizations on campus, because I was only worried about maintaining high grades. The thought was that any organization would only be a source of distraction and impede upon my progress towards my goals. Of course, emails and flyers flooded me about call out meetings for a seemingly infinite number of groups. Among these, the ones that held my interest the least were the Greek organizations. This distaste was held strong enough that I distinctly remember telling one of my best friends back home over Thanksgiving that there was no way I would join a fraternity. I proclaimed, “I don’t need to pay for friends. It's a waste of money and time to get involved with that.”
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A couple weeks later my lab partner and I were finishing our Biology project. She told me that she was absolutely going to join a sorority, and she encouraged me to rush as well. I ensured her that it wasn’t for me and that I was not interested…then she gave me the “don’t knock it until you try it” speech. After that, I promised her I would at least go to a couple rush events and check it out.
The next semester started (we had deferred recruitment) and sorority rushing was wrapping up. The excitement I could feel around campus was tremendous. I sat in my dorm room looking at the schedule for a fraternity’s rush events. Remembering my promise to my lab partner, I penned in my first rush event and went. That night ultimately led to my decision not to join a frat.
I joined a fraternity.
That night, and the entirety of rush, shattered my expectations. I arrived expecting guys to talk about the theme of the next party, or when they are going to start drinking that night (despite it being a Monday). However, during the roughly two weeks of rush, I didn’t see, smell or even hear the word “alcohol”. I spoke with guys about our ambitions. We played video games and cards. Conversations carried on about all of the service that gets done, and the major philanthropic events. I had heartfelt conversations about topics I had never even discussed with some of my best friends. The guys around me even cringed at the word “frat” and viewed it as an insult to their organization. Next thing I knew, I found myself wrapped up in the excitement of receiving a bid, and turning it in.
I realized that this wasn’t a “frat”, although those still exists on many campuses. This was a fraternity, full of men who bled ambition and had a hunger for making a difference in the world. A place of people who stuck to their convictions, and spoke up for what they believed. A room of guys who pushed each other to grow and become leaders in their communities, whether it be through service, academics, or organizational leadership.
Frats do very little of these things, or they do so with empty intentions. They focus on spending money on drinking rather than philanthropic use with relationships that are hardly more than a close bar buddy. They degrade others in order to initiate them into their “brotherhood”. As a pledge in my fraternity, I realized what it meant to have ambitions and that there is always more to learn. I was shown what it meant to have the courage to stand up for what you believe in and to have fidelity to your principles. I was given role models, people my age that I looked up to and wanted to be like. I had people to help me with anything at any time, whether it was car trouble, academic apathy, home concerns or being taught simple adult things I hadn’t quite learned yet. But most of all, I was given the experience of a special brotherhood.
In the end, I am truly glad I was told the old adage of “don’t knock it until you try it” or I would have missed out on what a real fraternity is. Whatever your predisposition is on anything in life, ignore it until you are educated on it. If you are new to college, don’t let a judgment like mine keep you from a truly special experience. Figure out what works for you, and don’t let others’ perceptions affect you. You CAN experience Greek life without involving yourself with the stereotype, you just have to go out and find it.
