Now that we're past Valentines day, where you either spend the evening with a loved one or a lovingly delicious over priced box of chocolates, and spring is quickly approaching, aka the birds and the bees are ready to take flight, its time to escape the deceiving honey suckle sent of bullshit romance our society suffocates us with this time of the year. It's time to prepare ourselves ladies for the legion of tank top sporting, house music blasting, backwards hat wearing f#ck boys getting ready to pounce. Here are the top ten tell tale signs your "Knight in shining armor" is actually a Jersey Shore Reject awaiting his sixth year of college.
1. His most used phrases are "lit', "dead ass", "hoes before bro's" etc...
He might claim he passed Writing 101, but you know he just paid someone to write his research essay on "Why Marijuana Should Be Legalized". Basically if Shakespeare were around today he might have stroke due to lack of creativity and excess bullshit.
2. All of your plans occur past 11 o'clock on the weekend...
He might say its because he's busy, which he probably was to be fair since he just spent the last few hours making empty promises to another girl.
3. He's a walking advertisement for AXE or Old Spice
You know that feeling you get when you walk past Abercrombie and Fitch feeling like you need an inhaler even though you don't have asthma? Thats how you feel when he walks past you at a party with his other f#ck boy friends.
4. The most ambition he's ever shown has been in your DM's...
"Down in the Dm"
"Don't you hate when you get screenshot? (petty)
Bitch that DM wasn't for everybody (rules)"
- Yo Gotti
... then why are you DMing every female on campus these exact pick up lines..?
5. He snapchats you miscellaneous items asking if they are yours, even though they clearly are not.
No those pink bedazzled sweat pants that say "juicy" across the butt are not mine.
6. His version of a date is "Netflix and Chill"
He even makes you bring the snacks. But, he'll supply the 6 pack #notabs
7. His Tinder pictures include a baby (don't worry he claims its not his) a puppy, and or his grandma (I bet he's her favorite grandchild)
And his bio says "..just looking to meet cool people and have some new adventures" along with his snapchat username.
8. He consistently snaps you about his "gains" in the gym
Vanity thy name is women? I don't think so.
9. He Never Offers to Buy You A Drink...
Unless he gets something in return.
10. He Says Exactly What He Thinks You Want to Hear
The most lethal quality of a f#ck boy is their ability to manipulate and extort the vulnerabilities of genuinely good people. You might think you've found your own personal Nicholas Sparks, but in reality you've met a selfish, soul sucking villain, aka Voldemort.
Co-author Daniela Kaplun
