I am an optimistic person, a type 2 enneagram, a natural lover, and someone who has days that can be so dark and so lonely it can be hard to push through. I have a supportive family, an understanding therapist, medication, and yet I still have days where loneliness and numbness seem to overtake me. Boiled down into one word, what keeps me going is hope. Everything else is simply a byproduct of that hopefulness.
During what I call a "dark day," I become isolated and angry. Showering and brushing my teeth become my biggest goals. I remember after one particularly dark day my roommate came in and exclaimed: "You got out of bed!" We both celebrated because we knew what a big deal that was.
When you're struggling with depression your checklist changes. Instead of finishing essays and going to the gym, tasks become mundane like getting out of bed before noon and eating a few times a day. Depression and anxiety can be so exhausting that you simply don't have the energy to do more. I know working out will help me and eating fresher food will be good for me in the long run, which is why it's so annoying when you're unable to do them.
If you're in a dark state hold onto hope. Know that one day you will graduate. One day you will adopt that cat. One day you will be happy again. A simple way to spark hopefulness is to write a list of things and people you are grateful for. I always have music on my list and chocolate chip cookies. I want to live long enough to hear my favorite singers new album and perfect my recipe for the best chocolate chip cookies in the world. Make a promise to yourself that you will stay long enough to see where life takes you. Stumble in the dark if you have to because eventually, you will find a flashlight to lead you to brighter days.
