Lately, my friends have been talking to me about boys...typical. I mean what single college girl doesn't talk about boys at one time or another? It may be a little early, but this is the time when we're thinking about a future with the person that we're dating or want to date. Unfortunately, my friends were saying how amazing it would be to have a boyfriend, which please don't get me wrong is so, so great! BUT, they also kind of talked about it in a depressing way, like, "Why don't I have a boyfriend?" and "Why hasn't God given me a boyfriend?" I honestly just wanted to shout to them: "God hearts you, like A LOT. Like a lot, a lot. My girls, you are the daughters of Jesus freaking Christ and He is so cool and loves you SO much!" Now believe me, I have so been there. Like for reals have been there. I knew God loved me but I wanted the boyfriend. I just couldn't shake that feeling. But lately God has been showing up in a better way than a boyfriend and I thought I should share.
Recently I went on a camp retreat with my college group at church. I have been to this camp plenty of times before and to be honest, could probably predict how this weekend was going to go. But just in God's fashion, He flipped the switch on everything I thought I knew. While I was going through the motions of singing yet another worship song, God poured into me to confess a sin that I had been holding onto years. Yes that's right, years. For years, I had been consuming myself with this guilt and shame, and that night I broke down in tears confessing my sins and laying down my shame, my sin, and my pride. As my eyes cleared, I immediately felt this weight be lifted off my shoulders and was filled with such an immense joy that I could not contain.
These past weeks have been the happiest weeks of probably my entire life. In all honesty, these past two weeks have been academic hell for me, but I haven't even cared because I have been so filled with joy. Guys, I don't think you understand. My friends and I talked about wanting to just wake up to a good morning text from a boy we liked, but guess what? No text could ever replace the kind of joy that God gives me when I wake up in the morning. A smile from a boy could not give me the same kind of feeling that I get when worshipping my heavenly Father. No matter how much I want a boy to pursue me in this world, I want a God who pursues me every single day. I honestly just wished that I could pour into everyone the kind of love that God has been showing me every day.
So here is my takeaway, if you will. In all honesty, God hearts you, like a lot. He is ready to love you and willing to love you and wants to continue to love you through everything you are going through. Friends, if a guy wanted to pursue you, wouldn't you let him? Let God pursue you.
