Defining Expectations
Start writing a post
Dating

Defining Expectations

Are you setting your standards too high?

190
Defining Expectations
https://stocksnap.io/photo/PUM5YAWJJS

When it comes to relationships, it can be easy to want the best, but it is also important to remember that everyone is human. Although not intended, mistakes are made. If you are like me, those mistakes happen too often for comfort. Through getting to know myself, I have realized that I can be a perfectionist when it comes to things I care about. This can be good at times, but it also makes it difficult when I get down on myself when things don't go as expected. It is unfair to think relationships can be any different or completely perfect. This is because of the fact that they are filled with mistakes too. I asked several close friends what they thought was fair or unreasonable to expect in a special one, and received some wise feedback.


"What is reasonable/unreasonable for someone to expect out of their special one?"


Reasonable: It's reasonable to expect respect from your special one, and respect comes in a lot of forms. Your partner could show you respect by listening to your story all the way through, or taking out the trash the first time you ask. It's unreasonable though, to expect them to cut ties with people who have been there for everything just because you don't like them.

-Sam, 21


Reasonable: Expect honesty, loyalty, to be treated in a way that you feel honored, to be loved, to be cared for as long as you care for them as well, to be able to share your feelings with each other, being comfortable around each other, learning about each other!

Unreasonable: Expecting them to give up important things for you, expecting them to stop hanging out with their friends, expecting them to ONLY spend time with you, expecting them to talk to you 24/7 and getting mad when they don't, expecting them to pay for everything, expecting them to give you things all the time and never giving them anything in return, expecting them to always agree with you and never argue (arguing is a healthy part of a relationship, its supposed to bring you guys together).

-Haley, 19


I think it's reasonable to expect a special one to have the same values as you. I think it is also healthy to want someone who will make you happy, and someone that you enjoy spending time with and are attracted to. I think it's unreasonable to expect your special one to have specific qualities.

-Sammy, 18


Through the multiple responses received, it can be concluded that we are all called to be forgiving in relationships, but we also must hold our standards so that respect can be given and received. Although mistakes can be made on both sides, forgiveness is always an option and it is a healthier alternative to holding grudges, which prevent growth. To allow for an expansion of trust in a relationship, you need to let go of everything holding you back in accepting your partner and their entirety. It is likely that they already know their flaws and are harder on themselves than you could ever be. Just reaching out and letting them know that their imperfections do not define them could help initiate self-love.

Acceptance is the one thing everyone is subconsciously looking for (either in the workplace, school, life, or self). Wouldn't it be great if you could provide that for your partner and help them grow as an individual? Because honestly, more likely than not they are trying their best, and it really is the thought that counts.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

73851
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

46627
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

977318
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments