Why Hannah Brown will be a terrible Bachelorette

13 Reasons Why Hannah B. Is The Worst Choice For The Bachelorette

I can't believe that we have to suffer through an entire season of "Hannah Beast."

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Tuesday night on the After The Final Rose special, Bachelor Nation got to watch an amazing and unexpected ending (or beginning) to Colton and Cassie's love story. We cheered for them and our spirits were lifted when we saw how great they are together. Unfortunately, that happiness didn't last long. Soon after, it was announced that Hannah Brown, otherwise known as "The Beast," would be our new Bachelorette. There are a million reasons as to why she is the wrong choice, but here are just 13 of them.

1. She's only 24 years old.

While I do believe Hannah to be immature, I don't consider age and maturity to go hand in hand, so we'll get to that later. 24 is a really young age to be committed to one person for the rest of your life. There may be 24-year-olds who do feel that they are ready for that "forever" commitment, but more often than not, the person who you are at 24 is not the person that you will be for the rest of your life. Hannah deserves this time to find herself rather than focusing on getting engaged.

2. She needs to be perfect.

As we saw on Hannah's first date with Colton and throughout his season, Hannah puts a lot of pressure on herself to be perfect. Can you imagine how she'll react if she makes a mistake as the lead, or if someone rejects her on her own season? The girl is going to have a nervous breakdown. Her need to put on a perfect image of herself also hinders her true personality from coming through, making it impossible for anyone to know who she truly is.

3. She starts drama. 

While Hannah may blame Caelynn for the tension between them, she's the one who brought attention to it. Hannah told Colton that she and Caelynn had a troubled relationship. Hannah was the first to name call and insult Caelynn. Hannah was the one who couldn't let go of the past. Anytime Caelynn talked about her failed friendship with Hannah, it was because Colton asked about it and she was never cruel like Hannah was. Caelynn was also the person who made an attempt to squash the drama, while it seems that Hannah was happy to let it continue as long as she could keep whispering about Caelynn to the other girls.

4. She growls.

The face that launched a million memes. Hannah often refers to herself as "Hannah Beast," and follows it with a growl. She does this when talking negatively about Caelynn, when participating in dates that are more on the physical side, and when anyone brings up that she had done so in the past. It's annoying, it's unattractive, and it needs to stop.

5. She's not articulate. 

Hannah literally cannot put a full sentence together. She makes up words (befumbled). She gets so nervous that sometimes she even forgets to speak. The only two words the girl can string together are "Roll Tide". Hannah comes across as unintelligent, and I'm not confident that she's going to be able to carry an entire season.

6. She couldn't make a toast with one person.

On Hannah's first date with Colton, he made a toast and asked her to follow it with one of her own. She giggled and tried to beat around the bush for about 90 seconds, claiming that Colton "took her words." She finally managed to spit out some Hallmark-style, generic half sentence, followed by, you guessed it, "Roll Tide". You can chalk this up to nerves, but she could have said something that was more heartfelt or sincere. If she can't make a toast with one person, how is she supposed to make speeches in front of a group for an entire season?

7. Not enough people will be interested in her.

Hannah has a hard time connecting to one person, let alone 25-30. She's not going to be able to give these guys enough incentive to stick around. Honestly, I can picture 75% of her guys leaving on their own.

8. She didn't make it to hometowns.

Usually, the lead of the franchise is someone who made it to Hometown Week on their previous season. This allows the audience to connect with that person deeper, as we get to see their family, their hometown, and their hobbies as well as their day to day life. We didn't get to see that with Hannah as she was eliminated before she got the opportunity to bring Colton home. Not only are we not connected to Hannah or her family, but we also don't know enough about her to care.

9. She would have been more entertaining in Paradise. 

Many contestants who do not win the leads heart or the coveted lead position go onto the spinoff show, Bachelor In Paradise. This allows contestants to make a connection without as much pressure as they feel on the original show. Without that pressure, Hannah might have been able to relax, and maybe she would even be enjoyable to watch. At the very least, it would have been entertaining to watch her freak out whenever a guy didn't want to go on a date with her.

10. She's not a strong female lead.

Bachelorettes in the past have been women that we are able to root for. They are strong, intelligent, and in touch with their emotions. Hannah doesn't fall into that category.

11. There were better options. 

Caelynn, Hannah G., Tayshia, Kristina, and Danielle M. are just a few of the many women I would have enjoyed watching over Hannah B.

She isn't relatable. 

For some reason, Hannah B. fans claim that she'll make a good lead because "she's relatable". This couldn't be further from the truth. Caelynn is relatable because she is kind and honest, and open about her sexual assault, which is something many women can, unfortunately, connect and sympathize with. Hannah G. is relatable because she is sweet and cute, and we saw her get her heart broken. We want to see Hannah G. find love. Tayshia is relatable because she wanted the best for Colton throughout his entire season. She has also been through infidelity and a divorce, so it would have been great to see her get a happy ending. Hannah B. eats bugs and fish eyes to impress men. She is mean and undermining of other women. If that's what relatable is, I don't want any part of it.

13. She's immature. 

To summarize, Hannah B. is a terrible choice for The Bachelorette because she is immature. I can't root for someone who doesn't even know who she is. I can't root for someone who is mean to other women and who can't let go of the past. I can't root for someone who doesn't know how to handle herself in new or uncomfortable situations. Hannah B. has a lot of growing up to do, and national television isn't the place to do it.

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Dear 'Straight Pride,' Check Your Privilege: It's HOMO-Sapiens, Not HETERO-Sapiens

Don't be upset, you are more than welcome to enjoy your straight-ness, just as much as you have to tolerate our non-straight-ness.

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Disclaimer: This letter contains sarcasm and unfiltered honesty.

Pride month is one of the BEST MONTHS OUT THERE. Four weeks of rainbows, glitter, and good old fashioned love... except for Boston. Apparently, Boston is holding a Straight Pride Parade planned for August 31st to celebrate... well, I'm not quite sure what would be celebrated. Sexual confusion? A false sense of Christianity? The delicate structure that is "no homo?"

Honestly, I feel like its a huge waste of city funds. So, I figured I should highlight some important details about gay pride.

In June 1969, police raided the Stonewall Inn, a gay club in New York City on the basis that being gay wasn't OK. That's it. The raid caused a riot among LGBT+ patrons and neighbors as police brutally threw patrons and employees out of the club. This event was followed by six days of protests and violent clashes, lead by a group of Drag Queens, including Black American Drag Queens. This was the catalyst for the gay rights movement.

Since then, gay rights have made so much progression such as Same-Sex Marriage legalized in the US in 2015, to same-sex couples, and LGBTQ+ roles shown on television.

Dear Straight people,

The entire point of pride is to celebrate a group of people who are ostracized IN SOCIETY. People who have to FIGHT for the right to love, the right to be represented, and the right to be accepted by their friends, family, work colleagues, their place of worship and the rest of the world!

It's all well and good to want to celebrate yourself for your culture and traditions (google search: family holidays), or your own accomplishments during your life (google search: Applebee's). Celebrating sexuality is much more personal because it's still not accepted in most regions or religions of the world.

Don't be upset, you are more than welcome to enjoy your straight-ness, just as much as you have to tolerate our non-straight-ness. You don't have to believe in a same-sex marriage, the same way I don't believe that religion is your sole reason to ostracize, bully, torment and dehumanize a group of innocent people who don't conform. Gay, lesbian, transgender, asexual, bisexual, the victims of the pulse shooting, ALL THESE PEOPLE HAVE HEARTS, TOO.

If at the end of this article, you still care to make an argument, I'd like to ask you some questions.

Have you ever been fired because you are straight?

Have you ever been bullied, assaulted, attacked, or banned from using the bathroom because you are straight?

Has anyone from your family ever stopped talking to you or stopped loving you because of your sexuality?

Have you ever been afraid to be yourself?

Has your church (or any form of safety zone) ever told you that you would burn in hell based on your sexuality?

Let me know.

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A Tribute To Dads Everywhere: Happy Father's Day

It's a love without end, Amen.

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It's Father's Day season everybody, a time to thank our fathers, and to take special time to remember and honor the fathers no longer here with us as well. I'd like to give a huge shoutout to all the Dads out there: you are loved and appreciated more than you know! Happy Father's Day to you.

As I have grown up and matured, my relationship with my own Dad has changed tremendously. There is one thing that hasn't changed, though, and that's his ceaseless support of me and all of my endeavors, no matter how crazy he thinks they are. He's the one person I am certain will always be my biggest fan. (And you too of course, Mom!) That's what Dads do; they never fail to cheer you on.

You see, my Dad has never sat back on the sidelines. He's always wanted to be involved in whatever it was I was dealing with, from school to athletics to situations I wouldn't necessarily want to include him in (A.K.A., boy situations). Despite the latter, you gotta love 'em. That's what Dads do; they insert themselves into your lives, for they know what's best for you (or at least they think they do).

On a little aside, thank you Dad, for always being on my side, even when Mom was not. That's what Dads do; they help you stick up to the real boss. (Sorry, Mom!)

Without fail, my Dad is the guy up at the crack of dawn on a Saturday morning, revving up the lawn mower or banging a hammer somewhere, coercing my siblings and I out of bed to help him with his unending list of things to be done around the house. That's what Dads do; they teach you to work hard and do the most with the short time we have here on earth.

My Dad is the greatest advice-giver. He strives to lead a simple life, and I never really understood why until I got a little older. I've learned the best of life lessons from him over the years. After all, in the words of first Zac Brown, and then my father, "Life's too easy to be so damn complicated". There have been countless times that I've looked back and realized that my old man was right after all. They know what they're talking about. That's what Dads do; they share the most valuable life advice.

I can honestly say that my Dad is my absolute, hands-down, favorite person to drink a beer with. There's no one I have more fun with simply chillin' on the pier, sippin' Miller Lite and shootin' the breeze. I can honestly say he's one of my best friends. That's what Dads do; they're the most genuine pals you'll find in this life.

All in all, Father's Day, along with all the other 364 days in a year, is the perfect time to take a moment and appreciate all that your father has done for you, and continues to do. Above all, spend time with your Dad. Take him to a baseball game. Bring him to the bar with you. Ask him to take the boat for a cruise sometime. Time is so valuable. Trust me, it'll mean the world to him.

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