This semester was rough in all aspects of my life. But the most upsetting part of it was the fact that school doesn't slow down, no matter what I may have been dealing with. Academically, I could have done way better if it weren't for everything else going on within myself. There would be times when I knew I had a week to study for my exams and I still didn't try. It would be the day before my exam, and I still lacked the motivation. I just wasn't caring about what my grade may come out to. I had to drop a class because there was no way I'd be able to bring it up. I just didn't see the point in trying anymore. It was a long semester, to say the least. I saw my grades slipping and I wouldn't do anything about it. I continued to not care. It wasn't until I grew closer to my faith that my eyes were opened. I saw that I was sabotaging myself. I was letting my internal struggles dictate my life. I was hurting so much that I didn't care what my grades looked like. It all was too overwhelming for me to handle. I put everything in God's hands and allowed for Him to lead me on the path He knew I should be taking.

Fast forward to finals. It was difficult to bring my grades up and I knew that I would have to put any I had left into these finals. I kept telling myself that once finals were over, I could rest during winter break, allowing myself to heal a bit more. Although finals were rough, I know next semester will be better because I'm in a better place than what I began my fall semester in. I know that I will try harder, work more diligently, and maintain a more positive attitude.

Going into Spring 2019, I pray that I never fall into the deep spiral downward that I did in the fall. I hope that I continue to give my all and not allow for my internal struggles to dictate my life. I aspire to grow into a smarter woman internally and externally. I look forward to this coming semester and pray that it is better than the fall.

For anyone struggling, just know that it will not last forever. Things won't get better right off the bat. Things will definitely suck for a bit. It's up to you to choose when enough is enough. Be sad for a bit yes, but just try. You won't get anywhere for a while, but when you do...that's the day when everything begins to change. And you will finally begin to feel something. Don't allow for one bad semester to dictate your whole college experience.