In my line of work as a nanny and childcare professional, I assume several additional jobs within my job on a daily basis. I become a chauffeur (I affectionately call myself "Child Uber"), chef (I want to brag on having mastered the art of box macaroni and cheese), game opponent (Lego Batman and Go Fish for the win), lifeguard, nurse and hairstylist. My favorite part of any given workday, though, is having ridiculous conversations with the kids I watch. I could probably write a book of the hilarious things they come up with to say and ask. I've been archiving them thus far in the form of Facebook statuses, but I will now delight in presenting a few of them more formally for public enjoyment.
1. "My favorite colors are red, blue, and black. Know why I like black? Because I'm goth."
This was said to me by a matter-of-fact little boy within the first hour I ever sat him. He has since become my regular kid and one of my favorites because we really identify with each other's quirks. The moment was memorable, to say the least.
2. "DON'T. SKATEBOARD. WHILE EATING ICE CREAM!"
A valuable piece of advice, loudly aired into a busy Baskin Robbins. We can only hope some of the parents, other nannies, and other children were listening and able to put this rule into practice when faced with the old ice cream and skateboard conflict.
3. "Can you play the 'let the bodishithifro song?'" (Meaning "let the bodies hit the floor") "I just really love that song!"
This shows that kids pay attention to what's on the radio. The song had played on a rock station that morning on the drive to school, and he wanted to hear it again on the way home. I had to explain that the people at the station were in control of what got played on the air and when.
5. ("Peaches" by The Presidents of the United States is on the radio in the car) "Why do they not sing about nectarines?"
I sit a little girl for my main summer assignment, and this song came on during the drive back to her house from summer camp. She very thoughtfully wondered why her favorite nectarines weren't represented. Again, kids are paying attention to the music on the radio.
6. "Are you Albino?"
I sat one older elementary aged girl after school a few times, and she was really curious as to whether I was Albino. I had to explain to her that I was, in fact, just really white. #palegirlproblems
7. Child: "Can I have some more of that chocolate?"
Me: "Not until you eat your fruit."
Child: "I'LL EAT YOUR BRAIN."
This came from the "nectarines" kid I mentioned earlier. I love chocolate that much, too. I honestly can't blame her one bit.