No, I do not mean that friends are important because everyone can have 1000+ friends, yet you'll probably never know each of them fully. So, yes, friendship is important because who likes to go to the dining halls or Cava on a Thursday night to grab some dinner alone? Who likes to go to Disneyland alone or explore LA on their own? There are some people who don't mind, but I know for a fact that I don't and most of us don't either. I'm not saying that having some sort of friendship with others only means that you get to do things in a less lonely way; I just mean that whatever time you spend together counts.

I just got back from a small gathering with friends that I consider to be those closest to me. We talked about life and our problems in relationships and expressed our struggles of college and finals. We talked for the entire time. We caught up and told each other personal things and supported each other. I don't think I've laughed as much as I did in a while. This is why I think and truly believe that friendship is important. You're always there for each other and that definitely counts.

This is also why I think friend break ups are much harder and harsher than break ups with significant others; the one person or the group of people that you considered to be there for you even in the hardest and confusing of times is, plainly, not there. This actually happened to me this semester and no, this is not the post that talks about how much I hate them, it's more about how much I treasure those who decided to stay and help. And I've noticed a lot about people who are supposedly my friends and yet, in their presence, I don't feel as though I have the liberty to be myself. And that really fucking sucks.

When you conclude that this friendship is over, then you're saying goodbye to the shitty Snapchat photos in dirty bathrooms in clubs and the 3 am shits and giggles where you thought you couldn't have asked for better people. Where you thought: "These are my people and I love them." But that love can turn into hatred so fast and so violently that I didn't even know I was capable of it. Is such intense hatred the cost of the great, short-lived happiness? To think that is just sad and immature. To consistently feel negative about other negative people. Two negatives don't make a positive. But more positivity that could outweigh the negative does. And that's what I mean when I say friendship is important.

To those that have stayed and listened and tried to understand, thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart because I understand now not only what the presence of love is and how to reciprocate it, but also because I understand what love is in its absence. Thank you because I can trust you to understand the multiple shades of my personality without having to feel as though I had to hide something so I can still call you a friend.

Much love.