I've been thinking a lot about relationships lately. I've made it my goal for 2018 to focus on friendships rather than romantic relationships, because I know I'll be moving out of the state next year.
I want to talk about friendship breakups.
These happen when people who once knew your secrets, your interests, and everything else about you decide to walk out of your life for one reason or another.
I've had four notable friendship breakups in the past four years. Each one hurt tremendously. They were almost as difficult as a romantic breakup.
One walked out of my life because she didn't like how I handled a traumatic experience that I had my senior year of high school. One left because she felt that she had to pick a side when I broke up with an ex. One left because... Well, I still don't know exactly what happened.
The last friend that left was the worst and it hurt the most. She left because of who I am.
It takes time to put the situation in perspective. I have a bit of "redhead temper", so I usually don't take these things well. My initial reaction to each situation was pure anger. I got angry at all each "friend" for shutting down, ignoring all our history, and just giving up.
The most frustrating thing that I have faced in my existence is trying to explain my perspective to someone who refuses to listen (or refuses to even attempt to see things from my perspective). This is why I get so. damn. mad. at these women.
None of them would listen or even try to understand me. I know you're thinking, "Well did you listen to what they had to say?" Yes, I did.
This brings me to my point. Once the rage or initial emotion settles, you have to ask yourself: Is this person so vital to my life that I need to keep pursuing our friendship?
Don't try to fix relationships with people who don't have your best interests at heart. If they can't get past who you are or a decision you've made, you don't need that negative energy in your life.
Keep the friends who care about your best interests. Keep those who will help you when you're down, but keep those who will also accept that you may not do exactly what they want. At the end of the day, it is your life.
Don't compromise what you want out of life. Don't compromise even if it means letting go of people who you thought would be there for you. You'll find people worth your time. I have.
To the friends who left, I wish you the best in life. None of you let me have closure. Each of you hurt me deeply. Thanks to you, and in spite of the situations, I learned how to create my own closure. I've learned to accept the things I cannot control or change in life.
To the friends who stayed, thank you. I am grateful for your understanding. I am grateful for your guidance. I am grateful for your genuine, unconditional friendship.
