You know what I mildly envy about Canada? The fact that kinder eggs aren’t banned there. I recently took a trip to Canada, for a trip to Niagara Falls, and helped myself to a myriad of kinder products. Kinder sticks, kinder joys, Happy Hippos, and Kinder Surprise Eggs. While the cashier was ringing my things, she told me to enjoy the eggs. At first I didn’t understand why she said that, what was the significance of the eggs? I should mention that many Arab and Middle-Eastern stores sold kinder eggs, so I always had them at hand. I asked the clerk what she had meant, and she told me that Kinder Surprise Eggs were banned in America.

At first I didn’t believe her, but I googled anyway as I waited for my credit card to be accepted; it turns out she wasn’t lying. Apparently, they’re banned in the U.S because they are potential choking hazards. First of all, how could a child even fit the toy container in their mouth? Those things are huge, not to mention the fact that self-assembly toys are becoming rarer in surprise eggs. Second, using that logic why aren’t small jawbreakers considered choking hazards? Not only are they meant to be eaten, they are also hard as rocks and don’t dissolve easily.

I just don’t understand how these things could’ve been banned in the U.S. They aren’t banned in Canada and the Middle East, so why ban them here? Are parents so worried that children might swallow kinder toys that they’ll outright ban them? Might as well ban everything else that might be a potential choking hazard, toys and candies included.

I just don’t understand why American parents have to treat their kids differently from other parents. Well on the bright side, I can still get delicious Kinder Surprise Eggs from my local ethnic supermarkets.