As you carry around the expectation of a needed and well-deserved apology, you are suffering from the idea that it will someday come. However, you must understand that many apologies never do present themselves in a fashion they should. This is due to many different reasons, all in which tie back to the person who made you feel some kind of unavoidable hurt. Rather than exploring why the apology may not reach you, find acceptance in the thought. Restrict yourself from questioning and deeply analyzing what you will never have the appropriate answer for. The reality of it all is, you are recognizing a wound from a dilemma of your past and refusing to take care of it. You are letting it sit and soak into the depths of your core by choosing to remain incredibly angry about someone else's inability to accept their wrongs.
I've been wrapped around this undeniable urge that tells me to hold onto this need for others to apologize. I've attempted to justify it in my mind by saying, "if the damage they have done or attempted to do is so vivid and evident for me, it must be for them too. And they must feel horrible about it because I have felt disastrous in their shoes before." Wrong. Incredibly wrong. The sad truth is that a lot of people fail to feel remorse for their actions. Or if they do feel extreme regret, they sometimes hide behind walls of silence because it is easier than confronting their flaws. It takes a great amount of bravery to stand and admit to the mental injuries you have created in others' lives. We should understand this as humans, even if we do not agree. We have all experienced the position of being lost while making an effort to find some ounce of courage.
Just as you are worth the apology you have not received, you are also worth letting go of people's mistakes that still haunt you. An apology is not needed to heal. This is why there is peace in forgiveness, even towards those who are not yet valiant enough to face their demons. Do not continue on your journey with the weight of denial, ignorance, and fear that others carry. When the people who once meant something to you neglect to consider your feelings, to own their wrongdoings, and to extend their repentance, they are not worthy of YOUR DESIRE FOR AN APOLOGY.
Stop wishing for the wrong people to fix an exchanged connection with an apology, and start finding happiness in the fact that they haven't done so. They are pushing you closer to people who will always be quick to grasp their behalf of evil in a fight and find every reason to express regret even if it pains them to. Cope with the fact that some apologies will not be given to you, or you will forever be walking around with such unnecessary emotions that burden you. Forgive, even when there is no reason to. This will help to release the aching in your heart. This will allow you to break free from others' flaws that are surrounding your every thought.
