Every girl growing up has a ‘list’: you know, the list of all the things her husband will and will not be. Here is a glimpse into mine: my husband would have to be able to make me laugh, he would have a great job – LOTS of money, he would work regular hours, be home for dinner every night, he would not have facial hair, he would be amazingly musically talented (he would be singing at our wedding so he had to be!), and he would not be a minister of any sort (we would attend church and church functions, but we would go home and leave it all for someone else to care for).
You see, I was a dreamer and a planner. I still am. I actually have a spot in my bullet journal where every detail of each day is fully planned and lined out for our upcoming vacation – planned out to a T. And this list, the one about my future spouse fit perfectly into the plan I had for the rest of my life.
When I was twenty years old, I met a man. This man could make me laugh at things that would, to most, not be funny; but his face was tainted by facial hair; he loved to sing, very loudly I might add, but he would never be singing at anyone’s wedding; and he was beginning a calling as youth minister at his church. He had a very good paying job but was very close to quitting so that he could work more hours at his church. So, basically, he was the complete opposite of the “list”. However, he had a strange way of making me feel completely at ease with myself, and for the first time in a long time, I could be completely myself. Like totally just me. Not once did I feel like I wasn’t good enough, or smart enough. I was just Kerri and I could freely be Kerri, quirks and all. He also had an amazingly giving heart, giving all he could for those youth he cared for so much.
Now, he was not the first man I ever met; and truth be told, I had come across some who fit, at least most of, my list. We had a mutual friend at the time who actually fit my list to a ‘T’. He was even mentioned by this non-list-fitter once as someone who in reality I should fit with. You see this guy had one of the most amazing voices I had ever heard – like New York Broadway good; he would almost always have me in stitches; no facial hair; and while he attended church, he was not married to it. He really was everything I thought I wanted. But while I enjoyed time with my list-fitter I found myself craving more and more time with the non-list-fitter.
However, God’s plans are perfect and ours are not. Look up Jeremiah 29:11. And so, this friend soon left our circle and I continued to fall in love with this man who was nothing I had planned. Instead of giving me what I thought I wanted, God gave me Joe; a man who was everything God knew I needed, and who is everything I never knew I wanted.
To those of you trying to fill your list (this may not be just about finding a spouse, but many of us have lists that we try to fill every day): Don’t settle! But don’t be so consumed by your “list” that you miss out on the great things God has planned for you!!