Don't Give Up: A Story Of Second Chances

Don't Give Up: A Story Of Second Chances

Don't let your past define your future

Your past does not define your future.

I graduated high school in June 2015. I thought I was super ready for college, but I wasn't ready at all. I had many bumps in the road for my first semester of college. I did not know how to study and my roommate and I did not get along. My grades were average and by the end of the semester, I completely failed out of school. I was not allowed back to school for the upcoming spring semester. I had to get my grades up at a community college to be allowed back at school.

Now, I am returning to a school after having once failed out of. I am extremely nervous and anxious. I need to show that I am better than who I was a year ago. I cannot have the same mentality as I did. I feel ready but I still have a pain in my chest that can't go away. My failures will not define who I am as a person. I know one day I will be able to achieve things I never thought I would be able to achieve before. Everyday is a learning process for me. There may be a few bumps in the road from time to time but I know it will all work out.

Now, on the flip side, I was a Veterinary Technology major. I love studying science. The down part is my irrational anxieties. I had panic attacks during lab. My own professor thought I was crazy. My anxiety really escalated when I had to practice injections on cats and dogs. I have always have had a major fear of needles. I literally still have to be held when I get a needle. It's extremely irrational. I had a fear that the needle would go into me, so I would always start to shake, panic, and cry.

So, I'm 19 years old crying over a needle. Not many people are probably like me. Also, I helped many people study for Animal Anatomy and they got better grades than I did. I only passed one test in that class. My professor knew about my anxiety and let me take the test at a later time to try and calm my nerves. Sadly, it did not help. I studied a week for that test and I never have done so poorly. I got more than half of the answers wrong. I was so anxiety-filled that I couldn't even focus on the test itself. I also get very anxious in work environments around animals. Most are caused by my past issues: my 7th grade science teacher saying I won't be a doctor, a job I had a few years ago and being in the Veterinary Technology program. Episodes of panic play in my head over and over again. I can't seem to stop thinking about it. I just hope one day I can get my life together and be able to do something I love. I would absolutely love being a Veterinary Technician, my anxiety is just too high. Plus, Veterinary Technician programs aren't going anywhere so I could become one at 60 years old if I wanted too.

I am now a liberal arts major with science and math classes. I know one day everything will work out for me. I just have to breathe and take it all in. Everything will come into place. I am extremely thankful for getting a second chance at SUNY Delhi. I really hope to prove people wrong. I know I can do it. I will not mind if it will take me many years to get me to where I want to be in life.

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8 Reasons Why My Dad Is the Most Important Man In My Life

Forever my number one guy.

Growing up, there's been one consistent man I can always count on, my father. In any aspect of my life, my dad has always been there, showing me unconditional love and respect every day. No matter what, I know that my dad will always be the most important man in my life for many reasons.

1. He has always been there.

Literally. From the day I was born until today, I have never not been able to count on my dad to be there for me, uplift me and be the best dad he can be.

2. He learned to adapt and suffer through girly trends to make me happy.

I'm sure when my dad was younger and pictured his future, he didn't think about the Barbie pretend pageants, dressing up as a princess, perfecting my pigtails and enduring other countless girly events. My dad never turned me down when I wanted to play a game, no matter what and was always willing to help me pick out cute outfits and do my hair before preschool.

3. He sends the cutest texts.

Random text messages since I have gotten my own cell phone have always come my way from my dad. Those randoms "I love you so much" and "I am so proud of you" never fail to make me smile, and I can always count on my dad for an adorable text message when I'm feeling down.

4. He taught me how to be brave.

When I needed to learn how to swim, he threw me in the pool. When I needed to learn how to ride a bike, he went alongside me and made sure I didn't fall too badly. When I needed to learn how to drive, he was there next to me, making sure I didn't crash.

5. He encourages me to best the best I can be.

My dad sees the best in me, no matter how much I fail. He's always there to support me and turn my failures into successes. He can sit on the phone with me for hours, talking future career stuff and listening to me lay out my future plans and goals. He wants the absolute best for me, and no is never an option, he is always willing to do whatever it takes to get me where I need to be.

6. He gets sentimental way too often, but it's cute.

Whether you're sitting down at the kitchen table, reminiscing about your childhood, or that one song comes on that your dad insists you will dance to together on your wedding day, your dad's emotions often come out in the cutest possible way, forever reminding you how loved you are.

7. He supports you, emotionally and financially.

Need to vent about a guy in your life that isn't treating you well? My dad is there. Need some extra cash to help fund spring break? He's there for that, too.

8. He shows me how I should be treated.

Yes, my dad treats me like a princess, and I don't expect every guy I meet to wait on me hand and foot, but I do expect respect, and that's exactly what my dad showed I deserve. From the way he loves, admires, and respects me, he shows me that there are guys out there who will one day come along and treat me like that. My dad always advises me to not put up with less than I deserve and assures me that the right guy will come along one day.

For these reasons and more, my dad will forever be my No. 1 man. I love you!

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Trying to figure out what to do in life.


I never saw the crossroad

Where I could cross n' roam

Under an arch or dome. [1]

I just kept on the road

That was laid out,

Told to hold out

Till it pays out. [2]

Now I think its too late

Been walking too long,

Classes are all wrong

But masses too strong. [3]

So I follow with my head down

And chest up, succeeding cause

I'm too scared to fuck it up. [4]

But I have a need to lead,

Top-down and gears up

Leaving nothing to the dust.

But if I drop out, I'm a fuck up. [5]

Is it better to live and rust

Or drive till it busts

With trust you can find the way? [6]

[1] - Play on roam/Rome. Starts the poem by expressing the feeling of being trapped in my path in life. I felt like I never got the chance to figure out what I wanted to do.

[2] - I think a lot of it was I was following what people told me I should be doing.

[3] - I have a feeling that it is too late to change my course of life. I'm in a college for business, taking classes about business, and everyone around me wants to do business.

[4] - This is saying that even though I am not passionate about what I am doing I am still trying to succeed only because I'm scared of failing or quitting.

[5] - I want to leave and lead myself, do something where I'm not following but I don't know how to do that. This part starts a car reference, idk I've been watching Formula 1 on Netflix and its dope.

[6] - This is the question I've been asking myself, wondering if I should continue on with my path or follow my passion.

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