Senioritis is the inflammation of a college senior. As graduation approaches, college seniors across the country begin to acquire this life-threatening illness which affects their mood and behavior. The infection enters the brain of a senior and it literally attacks every square centimeter of the infected person's brain. Those with senioritis typically procrastinate everything school-related. They feel as though they are invincible, and the rules do not apply to them. It is fairly easy to diagnose at home. Luckily, with the help of modern technology, medicine, and society, there are treatments available to ease the pain and suffering caused by senioritis.
Symptoms:
Symptoms typically appear within two semesters of graduation, but that may vary from case to case. Those few weirdos who enjoy studying and can't wait to graduate will still feel symptoms, however, they will be less severe.
1. Endless poor decisions
The most common symptom of senioritis is endless poor decisions. Senioritis attacks students' decision-making skills and reprioritizes their lives. Many with senioritis will not study for exams. They refuse to do homework assignments. They skip class and feel good about it. They swap the library for the bars.
2. Bad grades
Those with senioritis tend to get bad grades. Whether that's from poor decisions or internal thoughts depends on the individual, but it is much harder for an infected person to ace an assignment.
3. Nostalgia
This symptom is universal for all senioritis patients. They tend to begin sentences with, "Remember that one time when" or "Freshman year was the best because," when talking to any of their friends. They reminisce about their drunken freshman years when classes were just a blip on the radar. They find themselves scrolling through old Facebook or iPhone photo albums with tears running down their faces from the recollection of their past.
4.Fatigue
Those with senioritis experience extreme fatigue. Sometimes, they aren't physically tired, but they are tired of the nagging, stress, and pressure that comes along with being a senior. They tend to take excessive naps and register for late classes, allowing them to sleep in.
Negativity, hopelessness, and crying are sometimes symptoms of infected students as well. They don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. They can't seem to apply for postgraduate jobs. They want to stay in college forever. They live in the future, the past, but never, the now.
It is also possible to experience mild to moderate symptoms as a high school senior; however, these symptoms become more severe as a college senior. High school senioritis differs from college senioritis in that high school seniors can't wait to graduate whereas college seniors do not want to graduate.
It is rare, but a few documented cases have shown onset as early as elementary school.
Causes
The most common cause of senioritis is being a regular college student. Once a student puts graduation on the radar, there is not much he or she can do to stop senioritis from spreading to the rest of the brain or to others.
Senioritis is also contagious, so it is possible to spread from person to person. There are two types of people you can catch senioritis from: the infected and carriers.
1. The infected
It is easy to catch senioritis from someone who is already infected by the active strain of the disease. Those who cave into peer pressure easily tend to acquire senioritis this way. The best way to prevent senioritis is by avoiding all contact (visual, physical, phone, social media, etc.) with an infected senior.
2. Carriers
Carriers are best known as nagging parents, relatives, and family friends. A carrier's favorite question is "What are your plans for after graduation?" The inactive strain of senioritis lives inside its carrier. Perhaps these carriers are trying to prevent current seniors from making the same poor choices they made while in college. While it is rare to contract senioritis this way, more rebellious individuals tend to catch the disease via carriers.
Diagnosis
Senioritis is easy to self-diagnose. If you or someone you know, is showing the majority of the above symptoms, or has been exposed to someone with senioritis, it's already too late.
There are a few at-home tests out there to assist in the diagnosis of senioritis. But beware! Sometimes these tests can actually hurt an infected person by making his or her condition worse.
Treatment
There are several known treatments to lessen the severity of symptoms, including:
-Eating ice cream
- Netflix
-Drinking alcohol
-YOLO outings
-Drinking alcohol at YOLO outings
-Pointless internet quizzes
-Cleaning
-Literally doing anything other than school work that makes you feel awesome
The only known cure for senioritis is graduation.
Risk Factors
There are a few factors that increase your risk of senioritis, including:
1. Having it in high school
If you have senioritis once, it stays in your body forever. This is why it is extremely common in college students who showed symptoms in high school.
2. Sticking it to the man
Most people know the type. Some college seniors have been skipping classes and assignments since freshman year. It is much harder to detect senioritis in these individuals because typical signs of the disease are already part of their usual behavior.
3. Being too involved
Being busy, or hyperactive, in college burn one out. Those with this sharp decrease in motivation and increase in laziness are likely to develop senioritis because frankly, they need to relax.
4. Change of major
When someone changes his or her major, credits may be lost and time wasted. A change in major may prolong the time left in college which will increase the risk of senioritis.
5. Complications
Although a couple of these symptoms are not life-altering, bad habits and repetitive poor decisions can cause complications in those infected with senioritis. If left untreated, senioritis can lead to failed classes which
