Dear Fortnite, Give Me Back My Boyfriend

Dear Fortnite,

I am not a huge video game fan now, and I have never been. I get a headache staring at the tv for hours, and I would just rather be outside. Even though they aren't my thing, I have never had a problem with video games.

Until you came out.

I'm definitely not one of those girlfriends who has to be up her boyfriend's butt. We have a lot in common, but we are also very different, and I am glad he has interests he enjoys to keep him occupied.

However, I would like to have my boyfriend back if you don't mind. We no longer watch Netflix movies at night because we are watching him play you. He takes an hour to text me back because "Sorry babe I was playing my game." He gets sidetracked on the phone because "Dang it, he shot me!" (He screams this as I am talking about something completely different.) His Snapchats include pictures of the controller or the TV. The lingo of the game has become a part of everyday conversation.

I literally can hum the theme song and I have never even played.

I'm definitely not saying he needs to stop playing... but could you maybe crash for a day?

Or just like come out with an update no one likes?

Or maybe make it so easy that he gets bored?

Or so hard that he can't win? I don't know what it will take. It would just be really great if I could have his attention back for just a short while.

I don't get what's so great about you, but if you don't give him back soon, I guess I am going to have to break down and try you out. And I would just rather not.

Frustrated,

The bored girlfriend