The Dangers Of Positivity

There’s a lot to be said about people who are naturally positive: in the face of frustration, anger, and sometimes even tragedy, they find something good in all of it. I find naturally positive people to be mature, because they have a tendency to try to understand people who upset them, and let things go rather than hold on to them arbitrarily; they are quick to understand that not everything can nor will go their way, and it’s a part of life, so they may as well accept it, find the good in it, and move on.

However, the amount of energy required to keep filling their glass to keep it half full is more than you might think. For many, positivity doesn’t come naturally, but is the result of a conscious choice to make the best of whatever situation. While it’s an admirable choice and usually pays off, there is a hidden danger to it.

As a naturally positive person, I’ve experienced this before myself, and though I’m no expert, I’m almost certain this is a pretty common experience for positive people: positive people tend to repress many negative emotions. In our quest to keep chasing the good in life, we sometimes forget to deal with the bad, and all the bad feelings can bubble over at unexpected moments, leaving you wondering if you are severely overreacting to the event that set you off.

Bad things happen in life. Some bad things are tragic, and others are trivial. Sometimes, we tend to downplay things we are upset about because we know that other people have it WAY worse; other times, we quickly excuse people who upset us because we like to think that it’s not their fault that they upset us. What you fail to realize is that even though things could be worse and other people may have their reasons for hurting you, it doesn’t change the fact that you are upset.

Of course you shouldn’t dwell on it, but you shouldn’t pressure yourself to “get over it” before you’ve let yourself be upset. It’s hard to hold people accountable when they hurt you, especially friends or family. It’s tempting to brush off everything and move past it as quickly as you can to avoid the negativity that sometimes drains positive people more than others.

The less you allow yourself to fully deal with your feelings, the more severely they’ll erupt at the least expected time. Save yourself that trouble, and let yourself be drained now. Talk to a trusted friend (a friend who will fully understand that you are blowing off steam, will let you blow it off without giving advice or overanalyzing, and then will move on with you when you are ready without passing anything you may have said in anger to someone else), write in a journal, or scream at the top of your lungs in your car for a minute. You’ll feel better. Trivial or not, it’s okay to acknowledge that you are not happy about something.

All things in life need a balance, including positive and negative energy. You can deal with negative feelings without letting them take you over. If you deal with them properly, your sunshine will come back.