As I submitted my final essay for Humanities on Friday, it didn't feel like I finished my second year of college. A moment of celebration undermined to the current situation in the world. As I sat there on my bedroom floor, still in my pajamas, I was left feeling empty. This past school year of college has been one big reflection for me. Freshman year it was a decent experience, I made new friends and grew a bit in confidence, but I also made mistakes that still prolong in my mind to this day. After a summer of true understanding of what friendship is, I returned to college excited for a good time. But that didn't end up being true. All year I felt so alone on some days, all my old friends were doing their own thing with their majors. We were all scattered around, and we were all too lazy to connect with each other. I had a terrible roommate experience that forced me having to move dorms and none of my classes were truly engaging.
I think the moment I realized something was truly wrong was on my birthday. It was my 20th birthday and, not to sound too dramatic, I spent it alone. I got birthday wishes online and through text, but it didn't feel like anyone was really there. So, as I sat at Union Street Diner eating my chicken and fries, I took the chance to reflect on what was the problem? If the coronavirus has taught anything, it has taught others that these moments of happiness can be taken in an instant. For me personally, this pandemic has pushed me to be a little bit social. I think the reason why this whole stay at home noticed hasn't impacted me too much is that I spent six months at college doing this exact same thing, sometimes not by choice. No one truly knows loneliness till it's Saturday night and your only friend is out of town.
But this article isn't a rant. It is a call to action. We as a society have been given an opportunity to stop and examine what truly is important to our lives. What makes us tick? What makes us get out of our own twin beds in the morning? So, as everything opens up and junior year approaches, I am now determined to make next year a memorable one. I have a saying that no one really understands, "I need to see the bad before I see the good." Because yeah, while the world may be terrible there are still people out there that make it better. So, take a minute and think, what is important to your life? And if you are not happy, change it. The biggest hurdle is accepting the problem, after that, it all smooths out.
