Trying To Control A Person's Life Is Never A Good Plan Because They're Not Puppets

Trying To Control A Person's Life Is Never A Good Plan Because They're Not Puppets

They deserve freedom to try to explore whatever they want, so they can start figuring out themselves.
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Many people have told me that becoming a writer would be a waste of time. Who would want to read my writing? Who would even be interested in it? They posed so many questions against my choice of becoming a writer that I've lost some interest in this dream job. I've lost interest in many things due to people criticizing what I do.

Throughout my life, I have lived a constant replay of "You'll do this" or "No, you won't do that because I say so." My entire life was motorized. I was tied with strings that ended wound up in a cross-shaped controller, and anybody who was older than me was the puppeteer. I was allowed to watch certain TV shows, listen to certain music, hang out with certain people. In my life growing up, I was never allowed to make mistakes.

It felt like I was being built up by everybody else to fit the image of the perfect human being that they envisioned— to be who they wanted me to be, not who I felt like I wanted to be. If I ever made the smallest of mistake, I had committed the worse offense toward people that would never be forgotten. Maybe forgiven, but never forgotten. I was taught to be perfect in a way that stopped me from doing things that others thought of as impure.

Acting in a "deviant" way was never an option for me. My goal was always school: straight As and all that shit. Getting a B was like getting an F. The disappointment of getting a B in my family was tremendous. I would have to study more to raise my grades, if not... I never wanted to find out how that sentence finished. Choices were made for me throughout my entire life. Maybe the only choices I ever got to make were what books I wanted to read or deciding to move to the US. My parents were against my first relationship. They said that they didn't like her and that I should break up with her. Now, I'm dating a guy, and they found out and they are trying to "fix me."


Even if I am far from the incarcerators that once tried to cuff me, even while miles away from them, they're still trying to maneuver each of my limbs and each of my thoughts.

It's so exhausting. Trying to find yourself when you never had a sense of individualism is pretty hard. And sometimes, it seems futile. You might not really know what you really like; you'll lose interest in the things you were forced to like; you might start doing things that aren't good for you because you just don't know what the heck.

It's all smiles and rainbows when you have somebody telling you what to do, but once you grow out of that shell you feel alone and helpless, and that is the worst thing that could ever happen to anybody.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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3 Reasons Why Step Dads Are Super Dads

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I often hear a lot of people complaining about their step-parents and wondering why they think that they have any authority over them. Although I know that everyone has different situations, I will be the first to admit that I am beyond blessed to have a step dad. Yep, I said it. My life wouldn't be the same that it is not without him in it. Let me tell you why I think step dads are the greatest things since sliced bread.

1. They will do anything for you, literally.

My stepdad has done any and every thing for me. From when I was little until now. He was and still is my go-to. If I was hungry, he would get me food. If something was broken, he would fix it. If I wanted something, he would normally always find a way to get it. He didn't spoil me (just sometimes), but he would make sure that I was always taken care of.

SEE ALSO: The Thank You That Step-Parents Deserve

2. Life lessons.

Yup, the tough one. My stepdad has taught me things that I would have never figured out on my own. He has stood beside me through every mistake. He has been there to pick me up when I am down. My stepdad is like the book of knowledge: crazy hormonal teenage edition. Boy problems? He would probably make me feel better. He just always seemed to know what to say. I think that the most important lesson that I have learned from my stepdad is: to never give up. My stepdad has been through three cycles of leukemia. He is now in remission, yay!! But, I never heard him complain. I never heard him worry and I never saw him feeling sorry for himself. Through you, I found strength.

3. He loved me as his own.

The big one, the one that may seem impossible to some step parents. My stepdad is not actually my stepdad, but rather my dad. I will never have enough words to explain how grateful I am for this man, which is why I am attempting to write this right now. It takes a special kind of human to love another as if they are their own. There had never been times where I didn't think that my dad wouldn't be there for me. It was like I always knew he would be. He introduces me as his daughter, and he is my dad. I wouldn't have it any other way. You were able to show me what family is.

So, dad... thanks. Thanks for being you. Thanks for being awesome. Thanks for being strong. Thanks for loving me. Thanks for loving my mom. Thanks for giving me a wonderful little sister. Thanks for being someone that I can count on. Thanks for being my dad.

I love you!

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Going To College 5 Miles From Home Is A Curse Turned Blessing

For some, the distance of a college from home may be an important factor. But don't let this judgment and opinion determine where you go! Let me tell you why.

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I became a Trojan basically the day I got into USC. USC had always been my dream school. It had everything I wanted: a central urban location, a large Asian population, great weather, the list only goes on. However, the one drawback was the fact that USC's essentially down the block from my house. Did I think this was an issue? At first, no. It didn't affect me until the onslaught of something like, "Oh, so are you going to go home to do your laundry?!" or "Wow, your parents must really like that!" every time I told someone where I was going to college.

Out of the 86 kids in my graduating class, only a handful of us were staying in SoCal. Everyone else wanted to get as far away as possible: New York, Boston-- essentially wherever their parents couldn't spontaneously show up for a surprise visit. But for me, distance was not something I really cared about either way when looking for schools. In addition, I was always lucky to have a really great relationship with my parents. I knew (or at least hoped) that they'd respect my space and want me to thrive independently in college. They'd joke about showing up on my doorstep, but I knew that they wouldn't without asking or telling me first.

Nevertheless, the comments about the distance did make me feel insecure about and question my decisions. I knew college was going to be a time of great change, and I wanted to have as "authentic" of an experience as the kids going across the country.

However, USC turned out to be everything I could've ever wanted in a school. And while I know I could have gotten so many different, amazing experiences through going to a school out-of-state, I feel grateful for all of the opportunities and benefits that have come from going to a school close to home. Essentially, what I thought was going to be a curse, has turned into a blessing.

I know this is a time where current seniors are beginning to make their final May 1 college decision. So, here are 8 reasons why I love going to school close to home:

1. I don't get homesick!

Because school is a 20 minute drive away from home, I don't feel the homesickness that a lot of my international, out-of-state, or Bay Area friends feel. Knowing that home is just a short drive away has made the college transition quite smooth.

2. Going home on breaks is a breeze!

When I go home for break, I just pack my entire closet in a suitcase (don't ask), throw some extra stuff in the car, and drop it all off at home. Thankfully, I don't have to worry about limiting what I bring home since I don't have to account for factors such as baggage restrictions and whatnot. I also don't have to worry about booking flights, getting Ubers, etc.

3. I can see my high school friends while they're on break.

This year, some of the breaks of my high school friends' colleges unfortunately did not line up with mine. Nevertheless, I was still able to see many of my friends, as they all live in LA! So, when they came back during their break, regardless whether or not was on break, we could easily meet up!

4. If I'm sick I can come home.

I have been close, but have not yet been on my deathbed since I started college. However, if I were to catch the plague from Frat Row or Hand-Foot-Mouth disease from the party dorm "New North," then I could go home easily, and rest/recover in my own bed under the care of my own mom. In addition, I could go to my own doctor, which brings me to my next point.

5. I don't have to find a new doctor, hair stylist, dentist, nada!

Since I go to school in the same city that I've lived my whole life, I can go to the same hair stylist, doctor, dentist, orthodontist, physical therapist, and so on.

6. If I forgot something over break, I could swing by school and get it!

Even though I still pack my whole closet when I go home from break to prevent the chance of me forgetting something, I still could always go back to school and get something if I were to have forgotten it.

7. Internships/job-hunting process is a lot easier.

I know a lot of my out-of-state friends are having trouble figuring out summer plans through USC, as a lot of the research opportunities and jobs through USC are on campus. Therefore, I don't have to limit myself in my options, as I can easily come back to campus during the summer or other breaks.

8. I'm familiar-ish with the area.

I've lived in LA my whole life, so I know a good amount of places and am familiar with main streets/areas. However, there's still so much for me to explore with new USC friends, as LA is a huge city with so many new places popping up and things to do.

Going to college in my hometown, in my opinion, has given me a new perspective on the city. Even though I've lived here for 19 years, I'm now traversing the streets by myself or with my new college friends, which is an entirely different experience as well. I may be close to home physically, but through merely living away from my parents it has given me an all the experiences and feelings of independence I'd want in college, as well as the many awesome benefits mentioned prior. I know not every city is as bustling as Los Angeles, but I nevertheless encourage people to dissemble the general stigma around the idea of going to a school close to home. I do believe that there are just as many benefits as going to a school down the block as there is far away.

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