I'm in college and I don't party, and that's okay

If You're A College Student And You Hate Going Out, You're Not Alone

If this is what classifies me as abnormal, I'm okay with that.


I think the cold was the last sign I needed. The only thing worse than being out, intoxicated and dressed to the 9's, is the fact that I'm also freezing. Yup, that's it, I'm done. I tried convincing myself long enough that I like to party. I've gone out, I've gotten sick, I've done the whole sha-bang. And believe me, I have tried.

I used to love going out. In high school, it was what we did, you know? I think I used to enjoy it because I knew I wasn't supposed to be doing it. But of course, now that I am of legal age and I'm allowed to go out all I want, the excitement isn't there. What gets me excited rather is the idea of a relaxing night at home, with no social responsibilities and whatsoever.

All those memes about making plans and then regretting it when the time comes...yeah that's me.

I can't even tell you how many times I've had to talk myself into going out. It's exhausting. And honestly, whenever I do go out, I usually regret it. The only thing worse than getting all dolled up to go out into the cold is knowing that in a few short (and by short, I mean draggingly long) hours, you get to go home and spend 15 minutes taking all that eye makeup off. I love makeup, it gives me confidence and makes me feel pretty. But, I DO NOT enjoy leaning over the bathroom sink as I struggle with facewash in my eyes and water rolling down my arms, getting my clothes wet. Ew, gross there's actually nothing worse.

Maybe if I was single pringle, I'd be more willing to mingle. But I'm not. Happily taken, I have no need to get cute unless it's for myself. LADIES: do it for you! Even if you aren't tied down to a single specimen, don't feel like you must cake and bake your face with makeup. Only put on that super hot dress and those bomb ass heels if YOU want to.

I do what I want all the time. I've gone out a couple times in the New Year, and I can honestly say that's enough until 2020. Oh also, I hosted a party a couple weeks ago, does that count? I still had to look presentable and be social. Last night, my boyfriend and I were supposed to go to some party he was invited to. When he told me an hour before we were supposed to leave that he didn't feel up to going out, I was back in my pajamas so quick you wouldn't have known I was almost ready to go. We ended up watching a documentary on Netflix about Cat Shows (yeah, no...not dog shows...cat shows). That was the best Saturday night I've had in a while.

Maybe when I'm older, when partying is no longer cool or appropriate for my age, I'll enjoy it again. That would only make sense that once it's no longer popular, I'd like it.

If you feel even remotely similar, you're not alone. Partying and going out is cool, but have you ever tried carne asada fries on a Friday night with Netflix and a blanket, because I'd highly recommend it.

Popular Right Now

4 Strategies To Tackle 4 Common Arguments In Your Relationship

Do you ever find yourself in an argument with your significant other and you don't even really know why?


Nobody enjoys fighting with their significant other, at least I certainly hope nobody does. That being said, I can't tell you how many times I've had someone tell me that they are having relationship problems because the two of them "argue constantly over dumb little things" or something of that variety.

Sound familiar?

I'm guessing it does, it's a pretty common problem for couples to have especially younger couples. I've certainly been a victim to this problem in past relationships and can tell you firsthand that, it sucks! Arguing is exhausting, and stressful, and it's simply not something that a healthy relationship should have as a common occurrence.

Luckily, ninety percent of arguments that occur in a relationship is actually completely unnecessary and can be avoided very easily. All you need is a simple five-minute lesson in basic interpersonal human communication and you will on your way to a dream relationship with nothing but laughs and smiles, as it should be.

Identifying between important arguments, and 'Hot Button' arguments. 

Quickly before we get into avoiding unnecessary conflict, let's acknowledge that some conflict is actually very necessary. Every relationship is bound to have its differences. When those differences arise it is important that they are addressed directly and immediately. The key to properly addressing a disagreement is to be sure you are engaging in constructive conflict.

The other, more common, type of conflict is a destructive form caused by a conflict trigger. This type of conflict is unnecessary, it tears couples apart rather than strengthening them together. These arguments are caused by what we call 'Hot Buttons'.

Step one: learn what a 'Hot Button' is.

A hot button is a conflict trigger that provokes an unusual amount of emotional anger as a response. In other words, its something that someone says or does that sparks an unexplainable response of heavy anger and defensiveness. Everybody has Hot Buttons, and they differ from person to person.

The reason that they prompt such reactions is because our Hot Buttons spark a sense of fear somewhere inside us. This fear can be deep-rooted and personal. For example say someone is joking with you and says "you better study for your exams, you don't want to end up working at McDonald's for the rest of your life."

While this comment isn't inherently kind, many of us could easily laugh it off without much thought. But say someone has a deep-rooted fear of failure - a comment like this might be enough to send them into an absolute tizzy. This would be a Hot Button for them.

Step two: identify your Hot Buttons.

Like I mentioned, Hot Buttons stem from a fear. This can be a personal fear, it can be a fear of injustice, or a fear stemmed from a feeling of being attacked. This is why we react so extremely. We all have them, for some of us they may be easier to identify than others. Take a second to try to identify a few of yours. Here are some general examples to get you thinking.

A Hot Button could be a person calling you mean. This could be stemmed from the fact that you have been bullied so you fear that you are becoming like a bully, resulting in defensiveness.

A Hot Button could be a short answered text or being left on read. This could be stemmed from the fear that the other person doesn't care about you, resulting in feeling very hurt or upset.

A Hot Button could be someone telling you that you are acting like your sister. This could be stemmed from the fact that you don't get along with your sister, you dislike her personality, so you have a fear of being considered like her.

Step three: learn how to navigate Hot Button situations without conflict. 

Hopefully, you were able to think of and identify a few of your hotspots. From here, let's look at how to use that knowledge to be aware of when a Hot Button is being pressed. With this awareness, you will be able to redirect the unnecessary anger and maintain rationality whole avoiding unpleasant conflict.

Step 1: identify that a Hot Button is being pushed. When you feel anger forming in your stomach, take a step back and ask yourself why. What exactly is causing the anger? Why? Is it a hot button situation, or something bigger? Is the person intentionally angering you, or are you getting unreasonably upset for a personal reason?

Step 2: take a step back. Once you have identified that a Hot Button is being pushed you need to step back and breathe. Recollect your calm.

Step 3: consciously acknowledge that it is not personal and this person is not trying to attack you. Most likely they have no idea it is even upsetting you.

Step 4: communicate your feelings. People tend to get really freaked out about this part, I'm not sure why. Relationships are all about communication. Calmly tell the person that it upsets you when they say or do that thing and that you'd appreciate if they tried to avoid it from now on. It's that simple.

Step 5: admire the fact that you have just avoided what could have been a stressful, draining, frustrating argument. Emotions are powerful things, but when you take control of them rather than letting them control you, your life becomes much, much easier.

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

'Captain Marvel' Shares An Important Message That Shouldn’t Be Underestimated

Captain Marvel is an important movie from the perspective of the young audience it addresses.


(This article is without spoilers.)

From the time Captain Marvel was released, on March 8, there has been a lot of press surrounding the movie. There have been parties both advocating for and arguing against the character that Bree Larson brought to life. Controversies, particularly, were plenty; from media sources and generally, people critiquing Lardon for her lack of smiling during promotional events (to which Bree Larson had an amazing comeback) to the parallel derision and celebration of the idea of a feminist Marvel movie.

I personally watched Captain Marvel a couple of weeks after it was released and after having minimal preconceptions, including avoiding watching the trailer and scanning any reviews. I'd avoided spoilers and newspaper articles for the most part simply because I wanted to form my own opinion. I had done the same with Wonder Woman and Black Panther because of the extreme expectations placed on the cast, crew and whole conception, itself.

I'm not gonna lie. I took some issue with the progression and flow of the plot, and some of the character development was patchy. However, that's not what I primarily took from the experience of watching it.

When I exited after watching, the first thing I saw was an excited little boy jumping enthusiastically after walking out of the theater. Aggressive, playful bouncing with a fake blaster was interlaced with "Guys did you see that?", "And then she kicked him in the back!", and "That was so cool!" What I could reflect on was how little anything other than Captain Marvel could be a topic of conversation in my class of second-graders and how they would run to play as her on the playground. I could feel their shaking anticipation when both my boys and girls talked about which superheroes to be for Halloween and they could go back and forth debating being Wonder Woman or Captain Marvel. I recognized how disappointed one of my fifth-grade newspaper students was when he realized he couldn't write a review for the school paper because of the movie's PG-13.

Because when you're ten and see a hero on screen that speaks to you and who you identify as, you're not following the consistency of the character arc and how the narrative follows the 3-act structure. It's not that Rotten Tomatoes comprises a team of elementary schoolers who write professional reviews.

As far as I'm concerned, and as far as I believe most people should be concerned, if the next generation of filmmakers and movie-goers find themselves wanting to experience more movies that present positive messages and instill self-confidence then we've done our job as the generations that will give them that. Our role is to identify and understand the value of these movies and characters and pass them along. Look to the kids. They know what they're talking about.

Related Content

Facebook Comments