As 2018 is coming to a close, I find myself looking back at this semester and mulling over the reason why I joined Odyssey at UCF in the first place. That reason was for me to explore a deeper part of myself through the power of written word and in turn give myself a better understanding of who I am as a person. Lately, I feel as if I have lost sight of this purpose, so let this article stand as my attempt to try to regain my initial vision.

Sometime in late September, I was involved in an incident that called for me to be sent to the ER and involvement with the Office of Student Conduct. Although the situation was minor and everything has been resolved, this event caused an uproar amongst my friends back home and the ones that have traveled to college with me. For the friends back home, this event led them to believe that I have changed as a person, some would say for the better, others for the worst. For a long time I refused to believe that I have become someone different, but as I thought more and more about it I finally came to this conclusion. Yes, I have changed a lot, and that's completely okay. Here are some things that have changed about myself that I'd like to get off my chest.

First off, it's okay to try new things at least once.

For as long as I can remember I have always had a somewhat strict moral code that I have stuck with for my whole life. I always told myself that I would not take part in the typical teenage things that would get me in trouble. However, as my senior year came and went, my morals slowly morphed from an impenetrable wall to an open border.

So as college came around, I became more accepting of new experiences and took part in several activities that encompass the "typical college experience." And yes, this does include such things as partying, clubbing, and drinking. Now of course, this came as a shock to people who knew me, since my high school self was really known to do these kinds of things. Some claimed this change was me succumbing to peer pressure, but I found this just utterly ridiculous. I detested the idea that my own friends would think that a decision I made was not of my own volition. After my initial frustration, I realized that the choices I've made in college are my own, and I should not and cannot let others make me feel bad about them.

And second, it's okay to let people go.

Around this time last year, I made a post on Instagram talking about how, in life, I never wanted to intentionally lose a friend. I always believed that friends do come and go, but I never thought that I would be the one to cut someone out of my life. With that being said, this semester I had to do exactly what I said I wouldn't do.

For all four years of high school, I was very close friends with this girl, and slowly out friendship became more and more complex. Whenever things got rough, I would always try to salvage the situation however I can. As college started and I moved away, she and I would still talk almost every day. It finally reached a point where I knew that this had to stop; I had to stop putting forth my willpower to making her happy.

I slowly started to text her less and less until finally I had the inevitable conversation with her and we haven't talked since. The past few months of zero communication with her made me realize how much this change was necessary for me to grow. It gave me the time to realize that I need and deserve so much more from a relationship than what I was getting before. Even though I went against what I had believed in, I came to the reality that sometimes the healthiest thing to do in life is to step back and let go.