Why You Should Be Asking Permission Before You Hug Someone

Why You Should Be Asking Permission Before You Hug Someone

The question "May I hug you?" is more important than you think.
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Have you ever thought about how your actions impact someone else? If you haven’t, maybe take some time to contemplate that. What we say and do can really affect someone. That being said, how often have you asked someone if you could give them a hug? The action of hugging someone or touching someone is an action that can have a great impact. It can either make someone’s day, or make them feel uncomfortable. It’s an action that we should think about more, and an action that we should ask permission to do.

We have taught people from a young age that hugging is expected, and that’s not healthy. For instance at family gatherings when everyone is leaving, parents often tell their children to go hug their loved ones. A perfectly normal action, right? Well the thing is, even if it’s just family, some people may not want to hug them goodbye. When we tell children to do this, we are teaching them that hugging is expected and that it isn’t their choice. We should ask children if they want to go hug their relatives goodbye, because then we are teaching from a young age that they are in charge of who touches them. This may sound a bit strange to do, but it’s important that we start teaching people early on that they shouldn’t assume that someone wants to be touched and that they themselves can say no to being hugged/touched.

I think we often forget that hugging can actually be an aggressive action. Although it is often an action made with the best intentions, when we hug without asking permission we are essentially saying that the other person’s personal space isn’t important. We are going into their space without considering the fact that they may be uncomfortable, and that is inconsiderate. Granted, it’s because we have made hugging as normal as simply saying hello, so we assume that by doing it we aren’t doing anything wrong. We aren’t in the wrong if the other person gives permission to hug them or if they go in for a hug at the same time you do. We are in the wrong if we assume someone wants to be hugged, especially in a situation that wouldn’t garner a hug. For instance, if someone is sad or stressed, you shouldn’t assume they want to be hugged or even touched. That may make them feel even worse.

Perhaps you are reading this and think what I have written sounds ridiculous, heck maybe you think I’m joking. I assure you it’s not ridiculous, and I’m not joking around. THIS IS SO IMPORTANT. Permission is important. Respecting someone’s personal space is important. You should consider the fact that there may be reasons why someone doesn’t want to be hugged/touched. You may adore hugs, but just because you do doesn’t mean others do. It’s possible that you can’t relate to this article, because your friends and family like hugs. If so good for you-hug away! However, try and get in the habit of asking anyway, because when you meet someone new you don’t know what they are okay with. Treat others how you want to be treated. Would you want someone to ask you before they touch you? Are you always okay with being hugged? Think about that


Cover Image Credit: Goggle Images

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I Blame My Dad For My High Expectations

Dad, it's all your fault.
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I always tell my dad that no matter who I date, he's always my number one guy. Sometimes I say it as more of a routine thing. However, the meaning behind it is all too real. For as long as I can remember my dad has been my one true love, and it's going to be hard to find someone who can top him.

My dad loves me when I am difficult. He knows how to keep the perfect distance on the days when I'm in a mood, how to hold me on the days that are tough, and how to stand by me on the days that are good.

He listens to me rant for hours over people, my days at school, or the episode of 'Grey's Anatomy' I watched that night and never once loses interest.

He picks on me about my hair, outfit, shoes, and everything else after spending hours to get ready only to end by telling me, “You look good." And I know he means it.

He holds the door for me, carries my bags for me, and always buys my food. He goes out of his way to make me smile when he sees that I'm upset. He calls me randomly during the day to see how I'm doing and how my day is going and drops everything to answer the phone when I call.

When it comes to other people, my dad has a heart of gold. He will do anything for anyone, even his worst enemy. He will smile at strangers and compliment people he barely knows. He will strike up a conversation with anyone, even if it means going way out of his way, and he will always put himself last.

My dad also knows when to give tough love. He knows how to make me respect him without having to ask for it or enforce it. He knows how to make me want to be a better person just to make him proud. He has molded me into who I am today without ever pushing me too hard. He knew the exact times I needed to be reminded who I was.

Dad, you have my respect, trust, but most of all my heart. You have impacted my life most of all, and for that, I can never repay you. Without you, I wouldn't know what I to look for when I finally begin to search for who I want to spend the rest of my life with, but it might take some time to find someone who measures up to you.

To my future husband, I'm sorry. You have some huge shoes to fill, and most of all, I hope you can cook.

Cover Image Credit: Logan Photography

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You Can Still Get Homesick While Having The Time Of Your Life

Not every moment has to be fun and glamorous.

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We often look at college life and study abroad and backpacking trips on other people's Instagrams and see all the fun they're having and all the friends they're making. This is especially the case with study abroad, when these people seem to travel to a new place every weekend and live their absolute best lives. As a result, when we embark on these trips ourselves, there is often a disparity between expectation and reality that can majorly affect you both physically and mentally.

It's important to understand that even if you're meeting new people every day and exploring a new country every week and living out your dreams, there will still be days where you feel like you just want to go home to your group of friends and hangout at the local boba shops or sit with your family at home and just watch TV while fighting over the remote. While you're absorbing all these new and wonderful things around you while abroad, your body will yearn for something familiar, comfortable and secure. And that would be your life at home.

You may feel the need to just stay in your apartment for 2 days straight and binge watch YouTube or call every single one of your friends back home just to catch up. Or you may end up revisiting pictures from the past and salivate over the Korean BBQ trips you took back at home and get intense urges to eat food from home. There's absolutely nothing wrong with feeling like this. In fact, a good way to help appease these feelings are to search for the cuisine that you're craving for in your city, and go out of your way to eat it just to get that familiarity back. I have found myself at Asian restaurants and bubble tea shops in Paris more often than I ever was at home, and while others may consider this as a waste of time and that I should be experiencing only French food, it's a really good way to appease those feelings of homesickness. Trust me, the moment you take that first bite of beef noodle soup, you'll feel much, much better.

This isn't to say that you should only stick to the familiar even in a new city. Explore as much as possible and be open to trying new things, but every once in a while, when those feelings of homesickness hit, don't feel bad about buying that boba or starting that 3-hour long video call. After all, you can't have the time of your life if you don't take care of your mental health in the process.

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