Why You Should Be Asking Permission Before You Hug Someone

Why You Should Be Asking Permission Before You Hug Someone

The question "May I hug you?" is more important than you think.
5846
views

Have you ever thought about how your actions impact someone else? If you haven’t, maybe take some time to contemplate that. What we say and do can really affect someone. That being said, how often have you asked someone if you could give them a hug? The action of hugging someone or touching someone is an action that can have a great impact. It can either make someone’s day, or make them feel uncomfortable. It’s an action that we should think about more, and an action that we should ask permission to do.

We have taught people from a young age that hugging is expected, and that’s not healthy. For instance at family gatherings when everyone is leaving, parents often tell their children to go hug their loved ones. A perfectly normal action, right? Well the thing is, even if it’s just family, some people may not want to hug them goodbye. When we tell children to do this, we are teaching them that hugging is expected and that it isn’t their choice. We should ask children if they want to go hug their relatives goodbye, because then we are teaching from a young age that they are in charge of who touches them. This may sound a bit strange to do, but it’s important that we start teaching people early on that they shouldn’t assume that someone wants to be touched and that they themselves can say no to being hugged/touched.

I think we often forget that hugging can actually be an aggressive action. Although it is often an action made with the best intentions, when we hug without asking permission we are essentially saying that the other person’s personal space isn’t important. We are going into their space without considering the fact that they may be uncomfortable, and that is inconsiderate. Granted, it’s because we have made hugging as normal as simply saying hello, so we assume that by doing it we aren’t doing anything wrong. We aren’t in the wrong if the other person gives permission to hug them or if they go in for a hug at the same time you do. We are in the wrong if we assume someone wants to be hugged, especially in a situation that wouldn’t garner a hug. For instance, if someone is sad or stressed, you shouldn’t assume they want to be hugged or even touched. That may make them feel even worse.

Perhaps you are reading this and think what I have written sounds ridiculous, heck maybe you think I’m joking. I assure you it’s not ridiculous, and I’m not joking around. THIS IS SO IMPORTANT. Permission is important. Respecting someone’s personal space is important. You should consider the fact that there may be reasons why someone doesn’t want to be hugged/touched. You may adore hugs, but just because you do doesn’t mean others do. It’s possible that you can’t relate to this article, because your friends and family like hugs. If so good for you-hug away! However, try and get in the habit of asking anyway, because when you meet someone new you don’t know what they are okay with. Treat others how you want to be treated. Would you want someone to ask you before they touch you? Are you always okay with being hugged? Think about that


Cover Image Credit: Goggle Images

Popular Right Now

To The Girl Struggling With Her Body Image

It's not about the size of your jeans, but the size of your heart, soul, and spirit.

694983
views

To the girl struggling with her body image,

You are more than the number on the scale. You are more than the number on your jeans and dresses. You are way more than the number of pounds you've gained or lost in whatever amount of time.

Weight is defined as the quantity of matter contained by a body or object. Weight does not define your self-worth, ambition or potential.

So many girls strive for validation through the various numbers associated with body image and it's really so sad seeing such beautiful, incredible women become discouraged over a few numbers that don't measure anything of true significance.

Yes, it is important to live a healthy lifestyle. Yes, it is important to take care of yourself. However, taking care of yourself includes your mental health as well. Neglecting either your mental or physical health will inflict problems on the other. It's very easy to get caught up in the idea that you're too heavy or too thin, which results in you possibly mistreating your body in some way.

Your body is your special, beautiful temple. It harbors all of your thoughts, feelings, characteristics, and ideas. Without it, you wouldn't be you. If you so wish to change it in a healthy way, then, by all means, go ahead. With that being said, don't make changes to impress or please someone else. You are the only person who is in charge of your body. No one else has the right to tell you whether or not your body is good enough. If you don't satisfy their standards, then you don't need that sort of negative influence in your life. That sort of manipulation and control is extremely unhealthy in its own regard.

Do not hold back on things you love or want to do because of how you interpret your body. You are enough. You are more than enough. You are more than your exterior. You are your inner being, your spirit. A smile and confidence are the most beautiful things you can wear.

It's not about the size of your jeans. It's about the size of your mind and heart. Embrace your body, observe and adore every curve, bone and stretch mark. Wear what makes you feel happy and comfortable in your own skin. Do your hair and makeup (or don't do either) to your heart's desire. Wear the crop top you've been eyeing up in that store window. Want a bikini body? Put a bikini on your body, simple.

So, as hard as it may seem sometimes, understand that the number on the scale doesn't measure the amount or significance of your contributions to this world. Just because that dress doesn't fit you like you had hoped doesn't mean that you're any less of a person.

Love your body, and your body will love you right back.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Margliotti

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

6 Ways To Save Money As A Broke College Student

Money saving tips so you can afford adult life while also paying for an expensive tuition.

874
views

It is difficult to work, attend college, and make all your payments on rent, tuition, and bills, (not to mention finding a little money to spare on yourself). These are six ways to save that have helped me in this money stressful time and that you should use too in order to reduce the expenses of adulting.

1. Saving money on rent.

cdn.pixabay.com

Apartments are cheaper than houses because most include some of the bills in the rent cost. Make sure to check what amenities apartments offer such as free wi-fi, trash removal, or water included. When choosing roommates the more the better for cost. You should get at least one roommate because it is difficult to afford even a studio apartment living on your own. If you want pets you should choose a place that doesn't have pet rent because even if you have a large non-refundable pet fee it is cheaper in the long run then paying twenty a month per animal.

2. Saving money on bills.

cdn.pixabay.com

If you choose to live in an apartment complex, having an apartment on a higher floor will make your electric bill cheaper in the winter because heat rises. Even though your electric bill will be higher in the summer you can afford to work more because classes won't be in session. When purchasing light bulbs get ones that are energy efficient and use lights with batteries to help save on the electric bill. Also make sure to turn off all lights when you aren't in the room. You can save water by not running the faucet when you brush your teeth. Anyway you can think to conserve water and energy use that to your advantage.

3. Saving money on food.

cdn.pixabay.com

Your best friend is buying in bulk when you go to get groceries. I personally buy ten pound ground beef logs, cut them up, and place them in the freezer to use later. Everything is cheaper when you buy in bulk and you save time grocery shopping. If you don't know how to cook now is the time to learn because frozen and fast food eats up your money. You should also go to your local food bank if you are really struggling because everyone has to eat. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it! Going without food to pay your rent is not something anyone should have to do.

4. Saving money on furniture.

images.pexels.com

You should buy used if at all possible when finding furniture for your apartment or house. Living in a college town has its perks because people are constantly moving you can find great deals at garage sales or on craigslist. For instance I got my couch for free, I just had to move it out of a graduating students apartment. You can also check out thrift stores and consignment shops in your town.

5. Saving money on entertainment.

cdn.pixabay.com

There are a lot of deals and discounts for college students so take advantage of that for entertainment.. For example movie theaters usually offer a student discount and if you go to a matinee showing, tickets are even cheaper. Find out when your local bar's happy hour is and use it. Also see what meal deals are offered by restaurants around you, such as 3 items for 10 or specials on Thursday nights. You can also use apps to find coupons, my personal favorite being pocket points because it rewards you for studying.

6. Saving money and side hustles.

libreshot.com

Put back money during the summer in order to have a backup fund for when things get crazy busy during the school year. Scope out banks and find out what interests they offer on savings accounts in order to increase the amount of money you have saved over the years. If you need extra money you can get paid for donating plasma and you can sometimes find research studies that will offer participants cash for things as simple as just an opinion. There are also baby sitting and pet sitting apps you can download to get one time gigs if you are low on funds for the month.

These are all great tips that I have been taught or have learned living as a broke college student. It isn't easy living life in the adult world and pursuing a degree at the same time. I hope these tips will help you save money and keep you out of hard times.

Related Content

Facebook Comments