It’s competitive to be selected to be on any reality tv show, but it’s very competitive to be selected as a bachelor on the hit television show, The Bachelorette. You must be attractive, single, have a great personality, and be somewhat interesting of a person. In addition, you must stand out from all the other candidates. Many people try to be on the show and, unfortunately, many people fail.

Definitely on the list of the many people that would fail would be my brother. It’s a sad reality, but it’s true. He doesn’t fit the bill as a bachelor for a few simple reasons.

1. He's ugly

Not to be mean, but my brother is not good looking. He never gets any attention from girls, he doesn’t take care of himself, and he doesn’t compare the guys on The Bachelorette.

2. He's unemployed

As hard as we try to get him to work, my brother refuses to do anything. He’s incredibly lazy and claims he doesn’t need a job. What bachelorette would want a man who can’t hold a job?

3. He's stupid

In addition to being unsuccessful, he’s not smart. He takes forever to answer basic math problems. He would definitely not be able to hold an intellectual, or even semi-intellectual, conversation.

4. He's lazy

Like I said above, he’s lazy. He never exercises and stays in the same position for hours. Compared to the athletes that bachelorettes tend to go for, my brother is not athletic at all and would not be chosen.

5. He doesn't exist

It would definitely be hard to make it on the bachelorette if you don’t exist. Although I’ve always wanted one, I don’t, in fact, have a brother. You just got #trolled.