So You Were The 'Other Woman' In Your Relationship, Now What?
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So You Were The 'Other Woman' In Your Relationship, Now What?

You fell for the charm, but you weren't the only one.

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So You Were The 'Other Woman' In Your Relationship, Now What?

Maybe you knew or you were just another girl skipping down Love Ave. until one day you get a text saying, "Hey, your boyfriend is actually my boyfriend." Or, one afternoon you open your social media page to find his other profiles, containing his other identity, relationship status and the date night photos of her plastered all over his page. The same, as you are on his other one account.

Time freezes. Your heart stops beating. Can this even be real? What even is this? You feel the rush of the world spinning around you and the sharp sting of reality slapping you across the face. Your partner cheated. Yeah, that just happened. The person you had grown to love and trust is nothing but a stranger now. Every moment with them slowly turning into a lie as you realized you weren't the only one they did pillow talk with.

As the world comes crashing down, you are left with a billion of questions. Or, maybe you have no voice or ability to ask anything because your voice has been possessed by the curse words flowing out of your mouth. As you slowly begin to turn into Carrie Underwood with her sledgehammer.

Listen, it doesn't matter what girl you are, whether you were the girl who knew or the girl who thought her man was Prince Charming, the heartbreak of cheating feels like a million needles purging into your heart. It sucks, and no matter how many pints of Ben and Jerry you eat it can never quite fill the void they left.

So you found out you weren't the only woman he called "Babe" in his life. Where do you go from there?

There is no direct answer, like every relationship, every girl is different. Maybe you are able to forgive him, or you may need more time. No matter what you decide your next step should be in the relationship, whether that be opening up a new door or closing one, you need to make sure to always put your own interest in front of his. I mean, he did do that to you already? Why shouldn't you have the right to be selfish, like he did?

Oh wait, but you are not being selfish. You deserve everything. What he did, no matter his reasons, had nothing to do with you. I know that may be hard to hear, and trust me, I have spent way too many nights before asking myself "what did I do to deserve it" and the answer is always nothing.

Don't settle for their immediate responses of "I'm sorry, it meant nothing," "It was a mistake or "I thought with my body and not my mind." You don't deserve an apology from them so they start to feel better, you deserve an actual conversation. They left you a mess behind to clean up. Cheating, brings both emotional and physical pain. There is the heartbreak, humiliation and the physical health dangers they put you in.

Deciding to be with someone that cheated on you is something you need to have a serious discussion with yourself about. Nobody can tell you the correct answer, only you know deep in what the right thing to do is. Ask yourself what positive impact did they have on my life? Negative? Could you trust them again? Is this the best decision for me?

Building a trusting relationship and repairing the broken cracks in your relationship after cheating is hard, but not always impossible. However, you need to understand and be ready for the challenges and hard work fixing a relationship has. You are learning to re-trust someone. That is hard enough said to do alone, but add on a partner, it takes a lot of emotional strength.

Sometimes no matter how hard you would like to, there are too many pieces to the puzzle to put back together.. Once a cheater always a cheater, they say. And as for some people that may not be true, for others, cheating becomes part of their resume, weaved in their genetics. Know when to say goodbye and hello to someone that cares.

A cheating relationship is no different than a toxic relationship. Repeat to yourself and remember that...

He doesn't define you

There was life before him, there is one after.

One heartbreak is just a step closer to finding your true love.

Remember, that you have value too. That his mistake defines nothing about who you are. It is a problem that he needs to learn to overcome. If you know he had a girl, sweetheart, remember that the way he treated her is just a reflection of how he sees you. Even if you love someone, it doesn't always mean they're the healthiest choice. There are some people we can love dearly, but the timing is not right. Maybe he needs to grow up or lose before he gains. If the timing isn't right, then let him go and if he comes back faithfully loving you then you know he cares. But, you shouldn't have to press pause on your life to wait for him to figure things out.

Remember to love and care for yourself. Don't let the heartbreak define you. Use the anger and pain to push and motivate you. Who knows, his cheating could be the breakthrough you always needed. Take the bad and make something good out of it.

It hurts and the next step, whatever it will be, isn't going to be easy. The question of "what is next" is scary to answer and yet alone discover. It takes time to heal. There is no rush in deciding to stay or to leave. Just make sure at the end of the day it is the best decision for you.

Heartbreaks come and go. You are only once, so don't lose yourself in it.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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