Don't Go To An Art Museum On A First Date

As someone who has spent too much time in contemporary art museums as both a visitor and an employee, I don't know how to say this any better: DON'T come to the museum on a first date.

DON'T tell your date that you've "been there before, it's kind of weird but it'll be fun!" Why? Because you don't actually care about the art. You don't actually care about what is on the wall. Or the stand, or under the glass case, or why the objects and paintings and videos are arranged in such a way. You don't care about the artist's life. You don't care about what happened to make sure that this particular piece was put in this particular spot or all of the text on the walls that tell you the answers to these questions sometimes.

I mean, shit, I don't even care about all of that sometimes.

But DON'T go to an art gallery or a museum or a showing or a viewing as a first date. Why? Because you won't actually spend any time with your date. You'll spend every second you're there either scoffing at art that you're not willing to take the time to actually think about or your entire date will be 15 minutes long because you "just don't get it" or it's "not your vibe." And then, you'll be strapped to figure out what you're going to do now that you've only spent several minutes not even paying attention to this other person on your "date."

You don't always have to love the art that is being shown in every gallery, in every art space, in every museum. It is impossible to "vibe" with every single art piece out there, and art as a culture has developed specifically so that pocket niches of expression can be developed so much deeper.

But please, don't use the spaces that artists have worked so hard to be apart of and contribute to as your 15-second roller coaster ride of a first date just so that you can possibly get laid tonight.

Just go grab a coffee because we all know that's where you'll end up anyways once you've completed the quickest lap of an art museum the world has ever seen. And that way the workers at said art gallery don't have to deal with your annoying flippancy of stuff that we truly enjoy being around.