Are You Emotionally Starving?

Are You Emotionally Starving?

The importance of feeding yourself emotionally.

Everyone knows humans have basic physical needs that if gone unmet cause us to become unhealthy and unable to sustain life. This is why we breathe oxygen, hydrate ourselves, and go to sleep each day. As we all know, if one or all of our needs goes unmet then we become unhealthy and eventually unable to stay alive.

It's important to note, however, that we have more needs than just our physical ones. Far too often humans neglect their emotional needs in their relationships with others which can lead to rather hefty side effects. Since I am an enormous foodie, for the purposes of this article, it only makes sense for me to make comparisons between our physiological need to eat food and the emotional needs that we require from our loved ones.

When our emotional needs are not getting met we suffer what I like to call "emotional starvation." Much like physical starvation, it is a long, painful process that leaves us feeling empty and perpetually yearning.

When we are emotionally fed by our loved ones, we feel tremendously happy and thus emotionally full; however, when an emotional need goes unfulfilled in a relationship it leaves us feeling unfulfilled, unhappy, and emotionally starved. Emotional needs can differ from person to person and can range from needing to be physically held, to simply needing to bake a cake with someone (again with the food examples). Some emotional needs are small and when fulfilled can make you feel content and calm, while others are large and can make you feel so euphoric that you fall in love with the person able to fulfill them.

One might ask how to know when you are "emotionally starving" in a relationship. My answer would be that it is similar to knowing if you need to be physically fed. When your body needs food it reacts by making you feel tired, angry, and dissatisfied with the nagging feeling of emptiness. When your emotional needs are not getting met, chances are you will feel the same way. It's exhausting, infuriating, and disheartening to pour yourself into a relationship with a partner, friend, or family member that leaves you feeling emotionally vacant in return.

It's important to know what your unique emotional needs are as well as those of your loved ones so that you can assure happy and mutually fulfilling relationships with those around you. A leading cause of failed relationships both romantic and platonic is emotional starvation. Sometimes we simply aren't capable of fulfilling the emotional needs of those in our lives. It is just human nature. The ability to meet another human's emotional needs it the basis for emotional compatibility. If someone expects you to emotionally feed them in a way that you are incapable of, then it's important to be honest about that because otherwise both of you will suffer.

If you don't know what your needs are, then spend some time with yourself and do some exploring. Ask yourself "when do I feel most loved?" and then make a list. Chances are, you know yourself better than you think. Ask the same of your loved ones. There is no shame in being honest about your emotional needs. The more open you are about what makes you feel the most emotionally full, then the less likely you are to become emotionally starved.

Cover Image Credit:

Popular Right Now

17 Empowering Bible Verses For Women

You go, girl.

We all have those days where we let the negative thoughts that we're "not good enough," "not pretty enough" or "not smart enough" invade our minds. It's easy to lose hope in these situations and to feel like it would be easier to just give up. However, the Bible reminds us that these things that we tell ourselves are not true and it gives us the affirmations that we need. Let these verses give you the power and motivation that you're lacking.

1. Proverbs 31:25

"She is clothed with strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future."

2. Psalm 46:5

"God is within her, she will not fall."

3. Luke 1:45

"Blessed is she who believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her."

4. Proverbs 31:17

"She is energetic and strong, a hard worker."

5. Psalm 28:7

"The Lord is my strength and my shield."

6. Proverbs 11:16

"A gracious woman gains respect, but ruthless men gain only wealth."

7. Joshua 1:9

"Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

8. Proverbs 31:30

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised."

9. 1 Corinthians 15:10

"By the grace of God, I am what I am."

10. Proverbs 31:26

"When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness."

11. Psalm 139:14

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made."

12. 1 Peter 3:3-4

"Don't be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God."

13. Colossians 2:10

"And in Christ you have been brought to fullness."

14. 2 Timothy 1:7

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."

15. Jeremiah 29:11

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'"

16. Exodus 14:14

"The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm."

17. Song of Songs 4:7

"You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way."

Next time you're feeling discouraged or weak, come back to these verses and use them to give you the strength and power that you need to conquer your battles.

Cover Image Credit: Julia Waterbury

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Poetry On Odyssey: Some Days

A poem that reminds you that you're not alone.


Some days,

You dread the sound of your alarm. You snooze and snooze and snooze and snooze.

When you finally pull yourself out of bed, pressed time forces you to throw on stained sweats

you find yourself chugging a cup of coffee.

You sit on the couch and contemplate calling out of work

You caught the stomach bug,

Or perhaps the flu,

Maybe you broke your collar bone

Or need a new phone

The endless list of excuses repeats through your head as you sit on the couch, wishing you were still in bed.

It takes every ounce

Every breath

Every fiber of your being to pull yourself off the couch

And into the car

And into the building where you work

Some days,

This is just how it goes

You are not alone.

Some days,

You awake to the beautiful sound of birds

Chirping outside your window

The sun sneaks its way into your room

A smile creeps across your face as you realize you are awake to see a new day

You make a good breakfast

You read a few pages of your favorite book

You get your mind ready for the things it will accomplish today

Before you know it you've worked an entire day

Your job is done

As you pull into your driveway,

you take a few breaths

Feeling grateful for another meaningful day.

Some days,

This is how it goes

You are not alone.

Every day is a gamble,

Every day is a gift

The key to getting more good days

Is believing that everyday is one.

You are not alone, this is just how it goes.

Related Content

Facebook Comments