Navigating a small city with anxiety can be crippling, so when you move to a place where there's eight million people and thousands of experiences to have on one compact island it can be incredibly overwhelming. Here are five tips to help continue life as normal in New York City and I'm sure other cities follow the same guidelines.
1. It's Okay to Stay in Bed Today
There are days when it all feels too much. Too many people, too many things to do. Take a day off and watch Netflix, order food, stay in the comfort of your pajamas because there's always another day. Ice cream and Cutthroat Kitchen can restore your energy levels, give you the space you need from honking horns, screaming taxi drivers, and the comedy flyer people. It can also restore your faith in what you're doing and reassure you that everything is going to be okay.
Take a break, gather yourself, don't worry about anything else but reaching the bottom of the several pints of Ben and Jerry's you bought from the Rite Aid down the street.
You can always go site seeing another time, always work another day.
For the entirety of your time in New York City because it's such a romanticized and dreamed about place you're going to get everyone and their brother asking you what you're doing, what you've seen, what you've done, and it's okay to have a short list, it's okay. Take a step back and figure it out to sounds of Alton Brown's maniacal laughter.
2. You're Never Obligated to Give Anyone the Time of Day During Your Commute
You don't have to look at that street performer. The break dancing guy on the subway isn't going to look at you twice when you're buried in your phone. Headphones, even if you don't have a phone or any music to listen to, no one will bother you with headphones on if the end is connected to your phone or tucked away in your pocket. If someone does directly try and talk to you they won't be surprised if you "don't hear them" with your headphones and your eyes staring off somewhere.
The "I don't see you and you don't see me" mentality will absolutely work on nearly every commute. You may feel guilty or rude at first and that may stress you out even more but breathe, breathe and you'll realize it's normal.
The commute to anywhere can be stressful when the trains are usually late, the buses are filled with all kinds, and taxis cost an arm and a leg. Breathe. No one is going to bother you if you don't let them. Bring a book, some headphones, download some games on your phone, save some articles to read, you're a busy person and no one in New York City expects you to talk to them when you're running from place to place.
3. Ordering Food and Rehearsing Your Ordering Technique Lines is Exhausting
New York City is filled with food places that you've probably never heard of before and the thought of going in and standing in front of a line and staring at a board with a line of people behind you is terrifying. This is a cheat that I'm particularly proud of and use all the time.
GrubHub and Seamless are both free apps that you can download on any device. It's an online ordering system that saves my life on a daily basis. Instead of standing in line and trying to make a split second decision which usually, I know for me, results in ordering the first things I see which also usually kills my wallet and my confidence, you can sort through all the options online and free deliveries are the best.
If ordering yo your apartment still makes you nervous, which I know I don't order food when my roommates are home because it just makes me anxious, you've got the entire menu displayed out in front of you, so if you're daring, you can pick everything you want and make it like a list, so you've got something to go off of when you go inside to order. Seriously, this is my favorite because it takes all the unpredictability out of ordering.
4. When Involved in a Conversation Let the Other Person Talk
More than ninety percent of the time when someone does talk to you and you can't quickly get out of the discussion just let them talk. I've noticed this works a lot more in New York City than in smaller cities but that's just my experience. Usually if someone starts a conversation, yes, they usually want you to participate but most of the time they just want you to smile and nod to what they're saying.
This may be a person to person basis but usually in big cities people don't get to say much, it's not expected that you be noticed if that makes sense, so anyone that will listen is highly valuable, and it's a great way to pick up stories and get to know the people around you and they'll appreciate you listening.
People who start conversations usually want to dictate it.
5. Always Keep in the Back of Your Mind that No One Really Wants to Engage With You
This sounds a little harsh but let me explain.
This is why it's so hard to date and meet people in New York City because if you're on the train you're going to a destination, you're walking on your way to go somewhere, you are sitting in the park you're thinking about something.
No one really likes to be approached, they'll smile politely or maybe they won't. So, the chances of someone truly focusing on you is so slim that it's ridiculous, it's so easy to feel invisible and a lot of the time that helps a lot.
I hope these tips help, I'm sure eventually I'll make a part two to this but these are the things that help me the most when I'm navigating around! Let me know if these help!
