Dearest Target,
As I sit and write this letter, my roommate and I are making plans to visit you for the second time in two days. It is not uncommon that we go four times a week, and not unheard of to go twice in one day.
What can we say? We, like so many others, cannot stay away.
You provide for all my needs. You understand that it is convenient to buy a new sweater, printer ink, milk, and electrical tape all at one time in one place. You do not judge me when I do, in fact, buy all these things together.
Your iconic logo is comforting. There is no feeling than recognizing that red bullseye and knowing that anything I need is just a short ways away. The bull terrier depicted on your marketing signs looks happy and ready to welcome me back, like I am an old friend (because I am).
You are organized and approachable. You make it easy for me to find what I need, no matter how random my shopping list is. You are friendly and willing to help me if I need it.
You are affordable. You understand that I operate on a college-student budget, and you take the time to customize your coupons to my needs. Better yet, you are high-quality. I can buy everything that I need, often not spend over $50, and for that, my wallet and I love you.
You are ready to accommodate me. You appreciate and welcome my late-night visits. You pretend not to notice when I come in the morning and again that evening. You make me feel as though returning several times in one week is both normal and entirely acceptable.
You have a variety of services. Your minute-clinic is comforting and helpful, the ability to fill my prescriptions is convenient, and your Starbucks is all too tempting. The ability to buy a $1 hotdog and eat it while I shop is oddly tempting. I understand that you are ready to support me, no matter what I need.
Unfortunately, all of your good qualities have enabled my obsession. Your competitors are nothing compared to you. You have captured my heart, as well as the hearts of many others nationwide. We are lucky to have you. We may not thank you sufficiently, or remind you that we love you often enough, but rest assured, we do.
With affection and gratitude,
Everybody
