I have been the hype person of my friend groups for quite some time. I was and probably always will be the person to be excited about virtually everything and be able to crack a smile and make everything seem OK even if it isn't. I am the hypest person some people know, and for me, that's an expectation I set for myself every single day.
This mainly includes trying to support my friends at sporting events, being the fun sober chaperone at any party, and mostly just being wild and crazy- even with my not so wild and crazy roommate. This is just who I am most, if not all, of the time. I can go without a care in the world and be hype for weeks on end-only taking breaks to sleep or study. Seriousness isn't in the cards.
Then days like this morning hit. I had a great night with my roommate; we had a movie night and went to an event which I was excited to be at. I was having a good day. This morning took a weird turn though.
I didn't want to do anything but go to class and then come back with a Strawberry Refresher in hand. I wanted to lay on my bed. I wanted to cry for no reason. I wanted to do nothing but lay on my bed and think.
Most people know that I have a non-depressed nature, and the idea of me being depressed is foreign to me. I don't like waking up in this mood, and it's not natural for me. It's sure as hell not normal for me to not want brunch on a Thursday. I didn't even want that though.
For people like me, the normal of this high energy is kind of what we live off of. I live off of the social butterfly part of myself. The energy I have to wake up in the morning and actually go to class comes from this intense pull to want to get outside of my dorm and do new things and meet new people. I thrive off of such interaction and make it a normal thing to meet someone new every day. There is an intense need in my nature to be excited and be doing something.
When I was a host, this nature was what made em so good at what I did. It made me the host people remembered and offered tips to. I was the one that smiled and made conversation and made sure people were having a good time even before they sat down. These down days are the anti of this, causing me to be introverted and against making people laugh or smile.
In days like these, writing is easier though. I have a clearer focus of what I want to write, I am less distracted by the draw of a Snapchat or an Instagram like. I am so much more focused and I think that may be one of the only upsides to moods like these. They invoke the creativity to write more and write better than I normally would.
