Flu season
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Student Life

We Are Already Living In The Zombie Apocalypse, We Just Don't Know It

I guess there's one thing the zombie movies got right


Let me start by saying a heartfelt thank you to all the dedicated medical staff that saves millions of lives every day around the world. Without your dedication and hard work, I along with countless others, would not be around to read this article.

I have spent many hours waiting in hospitals over the last week and now developing a theory that zombies are not actually humans that have died and come back to life. I believe zombies are actually a direct result of waiting in hospitals.


The movie industry has portrayed all types of zombies over the last decade, but most have a few traits in common. Due to circumstances out of their control, zombies become individuals unaware of their existence, wander around moaning and have lost the ability to do anything about what they have become.

Based on this very simplistic look at zombies, it's not a far stretch to make a connection between hospitals being a perfect petri dish for a zombie outbreak (or a flu strain, if you would like to call it that)

During flu season people end up in the hospital filling waiting rooms to capacity. We are stubborn creatures by nature and don't go to the doctor as soon as we feel sick. The unfortunate souls, AKA Patient Zero, who spend a day or two suffering in bed trying to "rest" only to realize they are only getting worse end up in the hospital.

Guess what? They are too sick to drive themselves, so there are always Sub-patients who were taking care of and now sitting beside dozens of Patient Zeros in the petri dish we call waiting rooms. Patient Zeros are notorious for coughing, sneezing and puking flu germs into the air, creating breeding grounds for future zombies.

It is no secret; most waiting rooms, in general, are not designed for comfort. It takes an average of 5-6 hours to work your way through the emergency room process on a slow night. It takes mere minutes of sitting on a plastic chair the size of a preschool bench for your butt to become numb. If you are brave enough to get up and try to stretch and risk your seat being snatched by one of the dozens of people standing up in the zombie trance, you will soon be no better off. The more time you spend in the hospital waiting rooms the less connected you become to your environment.

The longer we wait, the quicker zombie mode sets in. More Patient Zeroes begin to congregate in waiting rooms bringing along their sub patients who are also now infected. They just don't know it yet. It becomes harder to distinguish between the actual nurse assigned to you and others wearing scrubs. Desperate for something as simple as the cup of water you begged for two hours ago and you will begin seeking out anyone in scrubs. (Sorry to all the food industry and janitorial service members I begged for water).


After a prolonged amount of time spent waiting especially in the middle of a crisis, the sick person (AKA Patient Zero) and the sub patient(s) who brought them to the hospital, most likely a family member, fall into a type of trance similar to movie zombies. A combination of feeling sick, lack of sleep and being kept in a waiting area that does not offer any way to get comfortable, and waiting for what feels like an eternity. By this point, we have lost the ability to do anything to help ourselves and are at the mercy of the hospital staff to help us feel better.

Eventually, zombies do get treated and sent on their way. Some swear that the next year will be the year they will get the flu vaccine. Others still roll the dice and play the odds of not getting sick two years in a row. Stupid zombies...

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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