April 10th, 2018: Shots are fired in the town of Willimantic, Connecticut, and the suspect is on the run. The students of Eastern Connecticut State University sit within their classrooms and listen to their professors. For most of us, we know there is no harm. For others, panic washes over them as the words, "shooting", "gunfire", "bullet", and "death," take over the headlines. They grasp their arms, clench their fists, and begin to shiver in their seats. A cold sweat breaks out onto their forehand, and the instant thoughts of "run", "flee", "hide", wash into their brains. They look for an exit; the closest window, the door...how high up am I? Can I jump? But what about a hiding place instead? Under the desk? Behind the projector? Where can I go?

But why the panic?

My best friend has survived 256 school shootings since the day a ragged gunman took fire onto the innocent lives roaming the halls of Sandy Hook Elementary School in 2012.

My best friend has survived the over 476 bullets that grazed the softness of skin since that day.

My best friend has lived through the over 150 funerals held for children lost in school shootings.

My best friend has survived the 20 school shootings that have taken place in 2018 alone.

My best friend survives an average of 1.25 school shootings a week.

Every seven days the headlines are plastered with the nightmares that have taken over every parent's thoughts.

March 20: "Great Mills High School in Great Mills, Maryland (1 dead, 1 injured)"

March 13: "Seaside High School in Seaside, California (3 injured)"

Feb. 20: "Jackson Middle School in Massillon, Ohio (1 student killed)"

Feb. 14: "Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida. (17 people killed, 14 injured)"

Jan. 23: "Marshall County High School in Benton, Kentucky (2 students killed, 18 injured)"

Six years ago those same headlines hit her town, leaving her life permanently impacted, even though she did not set foot in that school on that very frightful day.

"Sandy Hook Elementary shooting leaves 26 dead, law enforcement sources say..."

"Newtown gunman kills 20 children in elementary school shooting."

"Sandy Hook classroom shooting: Full horror emerges as victims named..."

So, what gives?

Everyday my best friend re-lives the horrors that took place in those fingerprint painted, rainbow covered, laughter held hallways. She flashes back to the day those headlines took to the screens, papers, and intercoms of her world. Her mind takes her back to the day she sat in a brick walled classroom, huddled in a circle, praying the news was a lie. But the news was not a lie. The blood splattered on Lanza's hands was also, not a lie. There was no pretending here. No re-imagining. The situation could not be undone. The news headlines could not be edited. Twenty six bodies had died upon those grounds...and thousands of spirits died with them. My best friends' was one of them.

The impact school shootings has on those not directly in the line of fire, is never truly discussed. We as a society do not talk about the long term effects these hatred filled events have in the long run. We think in terms of the "short effect." Society tries to pack a punch on the discussion of gun violence in combination with schools, only as long as that school name still flashes across the television screen. And as soon as another event takes precedence...we move on. The words end, the prayers come to a halt, charities stop receiving funds, and the news' crew packs up and moves on. The town that just endured a life-changing event is left in the dust of the concrete shattered by bullets. Volunteer groups depart and citizens are left to stare at the teddy bears, balloons, signs, posters, and images of passed children, everywhere they go.

We never speak about the children who were friends, friends of friends, Instagram followers, Tumblr mutuals, or Snapchat best friends to those lost. We never ask those who came from the same town, but weren't at the same school, how they are doing. We never ask about their mental standing, fears, or triggers, when it comes to this issue. We think their terror will be short lived, and the horrific happening will simply fade into the background. But it is not that simple.

Everyday my best friend survives a school shooting. She lives through the panic of looking for a quick exit...in every building she goes into. She thinks about the safest place to sit...in every class. She thinks about the safety of large school functions...every time one takes place. Every school shooting begins with one gun. Every school shooting ends with lives lost. Every school shooting takes her back into the deep, dark filled shell of terror, that she was built around in 2012. The fear never ends...but the newspaper headers do.

We are all to blame for creating a taboo environment on the subject of long term, mental effects on those not directly placed under gunfire. We say, "Shouldn't you be over it?" We add, "It happened so long ago. Just move on." Move on? Move on from what? How does one move on from blood splattered on the walls? How are you expected to forget about shoes, child sizes 1 through 7, scattered on the floor? You don't. And we should not expect anyone else to either.

The new topic of discussion needs to be how to help those impacted, no matter how large or small the impact, of those affected by gun violence within schools. Be that listening ear. Be that helping hand. Be the person, who is there. Be kind..