First dates are hard, and finding good guys to go on dates are hard, especially in college when a lot of guys don't want anything serious. Here are some red flags that I have noticed when going on dates with guys, so you can spot the losers from the winners before the second date.
1. He takes forever to respond.
If guys are interested, they will most likely let you know. Guys usually don't play games when they are interested in someone because they usually go after what they want. If a guy you are interested in isn't texting you back (a.k.a. ghosting you) or taking forever to respond, he most likely is not interested. The exception to this is if the guy is busy, but most people look at their phones more times than every 13 hours, and so answering one text shouldn't take him that long.
2. He doesn't make any effort when planning things.
If he keeps expecting you to make plans, and not making any effort, then this is an indication that he doesn't care enough about you to try to make sure you have a good date. Also, if he only wants to "Netflix and chill", he is most likely not boyfriend material.
3. The conversation is going nowhere.
If the conversation is boring and he doesn't ever have anything to talk about, he is either one, a very boring person and would be very boring to date or two, doesn't have the social skills to hold a conversation or three, you both do not have anything in common. Both of which are big red flags. You don't want to be in a relationship that is one-sided because that's boring. Can we get a yawn please?
4. He is being a Sad BoyTM.
Part of a relationship is sharing important details about your past, so you can better understand each other. However, if he is constantly telling you sad stories about himself, it might just mean that he wants attention and sympathy. Negative people are exhausting to be around because they bring you down with their negative behavior. This is a red flag because you want to be someone that is fun and makes you happy when you are around them, not someone who is moody all the time.
5. He is being mean.
THIS IS A BIG RED FLAG!! I don't care if he says "just kidding" or "no offense." If he is being a jerk, don't talk to him. Humor is not an excuse to be mean, and there are plenty of ways to be funny without putting other people down.
6. He talks about his exes.
A big red flag is when a guy will not stop talking about his ex. This either means that he has a lot of anger that he hasn't gotten over yet, and needs to mature and forgive people, or it means that he isn't over his ex. Either scenario is not a good one.
7. He brags or talks about himself A LOT.
Bragging is annoying for anyone to do. If a guy feels the need to brag or talk himself up a lot, then he most likely is very insecure about himself and feels the need to prove himself to everyone else. This is not the greatest quality to have, and it may lead to him putting you down. Not cool.
8. He is controlling or pushy.
Guys who won't respect your wishes and boundaries are a no-go end of story.
A good guy will be respectful of you, your time, and won't play any games. He will listen, ask questions about yourself, and think about you first. Yes, dating is hard, but you will find the right person, don't worry. Just try to get through these terrible first dates, and then you will find the gold one day.
