Out of deference for all of the tragedy happening lately with all the shootings and deaths, it seemed out of place for me to try and write an uplifting article during this time because so many families are mourning the deaths of their children and loved ones, me writing about how "life is good and you can overcome this" isn't going to take the pain away. It wouldn't be me if I didn't try and keep it lighthearted and maybe bring a smile to someone's face by telling you about weird things and misconceptions I had as a kid. So without further explanation, here is a very creative and optimistic list of real things I thought as kid.
1. When I was a kid I always saw street signs with names on them and some of the names would be the same as some of my friends first or last names. AI have no earthly idea what possessed me to think this, but I thought that if the street name was, for example, Haley Road, then all of my friends named Haley lived on that street. That's how organized I thought the world was. And still to this day, I catch myself thinking "hey so-and-so lives down there!" and I have to remind myself that that's just something I religiously believed as a child and that's not the way the world worked.
2. Of course, the typical "where do babies come from" question popped up in my childhood. But instead of my parents explaining the concept of a child being conceived, I just asked them yes or no questions. So it went something like this: "Mom where do babies come from? After you get married does Jesus just bless you with one in your tummy?" and of course my mother nodded. I was so worried. I thought of every bad thing I had done leading up to the present moment in my young life that might keep me from this priveledge of being "blessed" with a child. Like oh my gosh I'm not ever going to be blessed because I had to sit in timeout today for talking during class. I seriously thought that after marriage God chose the time he wanted you to have a baby and boom, just magically blessed you with one in your tummy. In a way I wasn't totally incorrect, but only once has that ever happened in man-kind. Just ask Mary.
3. Alright I still get made fun of for this and I'm really self conscious about it. So every care has a hazard lights button. The double blinker, the red triangle, etc. Well the only time I had ever seen them used was during funerals. So, in my little childish mind, I was so amazed that car manufactuers made a button just for funeral processions. Thus, I called "The Funeral Button." Once I actually used the term in front of my dad, he had no clue what I was talking about until I explained it to him and like the loving father he is, he didn't correct me until later in life when I was a teenager. So I had been using the term "funeral button" without knowing until I was 15. Thanks dad.
4. Some things can't be explained, but I used to call deer meat "ba-steak" and I don't know why nor do I remember calling it that but the legacy lives on through my parents who teasingly continue to call it that. Also, parmesan cheese, was shaky cheese and cheese in a can was squirty cheese. Again, some things can't be explained.
5. One time my mom was cutting my fingernails as a very young child and I remember looking over and seeing a caterpillar. It was just a green caterpillar that had snuck in and was crawling across out kitchen floor. Nothing special at all. But I automatically thought that every time my nails were cut, that this magical green caterpillar would appear. Unfortunately I had to find out the hard way that that's not what happened and I was very disappointed.
I could go on and on and on about things I thought as a kid but I think five is a sufficient number. I hope my fellow readers enjoyed this and that it maybe made you smile at least a little. That was the point! But anyways, having an imaginative mind never hurt anyone.
