This one is for all of you with mammary glands that require a little more than a Victoria’s Secret (Un)Dress Code bralette (which, to be fair, are totally cute--just super unrealistic). If you, like me, hate one of the most essential pieces of your wardrobe but know that to forgo it would mean eliciting every kind of unwanted stare in the book, you’ve probably experienced all of these things. So I say to you: stay strong, stand together, and struggle on.
1. When the cup is misshapen.
You probably dried it funny, but this is still one of the greatest injustices bra-wearers everywhere must endure. Whether the cup makes you look like a wanna-be-Madonna or it curls outward right at the top to make sure everyone can see where the bra ends and you begin, a misshapen cup is frustrating to no end.
2. When the strap keeps falling down.
What did I do to deserve this? Why does my bra hate me so? Not only does a wayward strap ruin the perfect outfit, but it’s also super annoying. Either you let it fall and it tickles the top of your arm all day, as if teasing you, or you pull it back up every thirty seconds. And it’s bonus points for the punk strap if the shirt you’re wearing has a fairly small hole for your head, because then the constant pulling up stretches that out, too.
3. When the underwire pops out and stabs you in the heart.
This is actually worse than feeling like you’ve been stabbed in the heart emotionally. Okay...maybe I’m exaggerating a little. But you don’t know pain until your underwire has turned on you. All you have ever done was care for it and keep it closer than anything else and how does it repay you? Attempted murder.
4. When it needs adjusting but refuses to budge.
You can feel that the bra needs a little yanking up and around here and there, to make it easier for you to settle into it, if you know what I mean. But you can’t seem to get your bra to move. Try as you might, she seems determined to stay put. And it’s more bonus points in the fight against your bra if you end up pulling too hard on a bra that won’t budge and you punch yourself in the jaw. I can’t be the only one...right?
5. When it’s literally a cloth and wire contraption made to wrangle and strap down the two softest and most tender body parts you have to the point of constant discomfort.
Truly, enough said.
