When you grow up on Disney movies, sweet romance novels and tales where the girl gets the perfect guy, it's easy to have a high expectation of men and relationships. It's even easier to be disappointed when they don't live up to these unrealistic standards.
Recently, I've been reevaluating these standards. Are they too high? It wouldn't be the first time I've heard that. I've always been a strong proponent of sticking to your standards and lowering them for no-one. Because when you lower them for someone else, you lower them for yourself.
With this said, there are certain standards that everyone – men and women – should have for themselves:
1. Communication, Communication, Communication.
Communication is probably number 1 on my list of expectations for anyone I have a relationship with, and I will drop you if I see you aren't making an effort.
Not only is it important, but it's a huge tell! As someone who knows what it means to be busy, I also know that when I care about something, I make time for it. You know you aren't a priority if they don't try to communicate with you. Consistently poor communication is a sign that you aren't worth their time. If you aren't worth their time, why are they worth yours?
2. Mutual Respect
Honestly, what is a relationship without respect? Without it, boundaries are crossed, neither party is happy and there really isn't any agreement.
Respect leads to compromise, support, and even peace. Some of my best friends have completely different beliefs from me, but our respect for each other allows us to build a bridge, and get past these differences. If you find that you can't do this with someone, they aren't meeting this standard.
3. Common Ground
You know how they say opposites attract? This is true...to an extent. There are some things you ought to look for basic common ground in, such as your beliefs, morals and even political orientation.
These things are a part of your identity and make up who you are. When your core values conflict with someone else's, you'll probably find it difficult to navigate a relationship with them.
4. A Love for God
This is a subjective expectation, but for me, it's a requirement. I need to know that the person I'm going to be with has a fire for God in their heart.
We don't need to go to church every Sunday or pray before every meal, but I need to know that I can have those deep, soul-searching conversations with them. I need to know that when I need them, they'll be there for me emotionally and spiritually. Even better if they challenge me in my own faith.
5. Laughter
Laughter is a cure all and can even lead to a longer life. Less stress means a happier life.
Personally, I automatically like anyone who can make me laugh. Granted, I have a happy disposition anyways, but a funny/positive person is that much more attractive. A relationship shouldn't be serious all the time.
What standards do you hold for yourself, that you refuse to settle on?
Let me know in the comments below!
